Some ponderisms

[Woodwould]

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

When weeding the garden, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it; if it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life too seriously; nobody gets out alive.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospital dying of nothing.

[Gingermick]

the saying "it's always in the last place you look" is an absurd statement. If you find something in the second last place you look then you are in trouble.

And, if you pull the wings off a fly, does it become a walk?

[Outbackrr]

If you keep that piece of timber for many years, you will only need to use it approximately two weeks after you throw it out.