Drive through ATMs

[munruben]

Drive Through ATM Procedures

Please note that Banks are installing new "Drive-through" teller machines. Customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable customers to use this new facility the following procedures have been drawn up.

MALE PROCEDURE

* 1 Drive up to the cash machine.

* 2 Put down your car window.

* 3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

* 4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

* 5 Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
* 6 Put window up.

* 7 Drive off.


FEMALE PROCEDURE

* 1 Drive up to cash machine.

* 2 Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine.

* 3 Set parking Brake, Put the window down.

* 4 Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card.

* 5 Turn the radio down.

* 6 Attempt to insert card into machine.

* 7 Attempt to insert card into machine.

* 8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

* 9 Insert card.

* 10 Re-insert card the right side up

* 11 Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

* 12 Enter PIN.

* 13 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

* 14 Enter amount of cash required.

* 15 Check make up in rear view mirror.

* 16 Retrieve cash and receipt.

* 17 Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

* 18 Place receipt in back of checkbook.

* 19 Re-check make-up again.

* 20 Drive forwards 2 feet.

* 21 Reverse back to cash machine.

* 22 Retrieve card.

* 23 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

* 24 Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male drivers queuing behind.

* 25 Restart stalled engine and pull off.

* 26 Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
* 27 Release Parking Brake.

[Grumpy John]

[Chesand]

Hope the ladies see the funny side

[Batpig]

Dear John,

Nos.15 & 19 are obviously because they're figuring that there could be a camera in the machine...

Nos. 20 to 22, and 25 to 27 are superb.... Just so..... female.

Best Wishes,
Batpig.

[Allan at Wallan]

You disappointed me John.

For it to be a "drive through" ATM I expected to see
a Holden ute back through the doors of a shopping centre,
smashing all and sundry in its tracks, then a couple of
hooded blokes throw the ATM into the back of the ute
before taking off.

Allan

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

For it to be a "drive through" ATM I expected to see a Holden ute back through the doors of a shopping centre,

Nah... a Cat 998 Front-end Loader. Puts the "through" back in Drive-thru.

Can conduct transactions on a whole bank of ATMs simultaneously, and still have room to pick up that cute teller you've been eying off...

[tea lady]

Not a word.

[joe greiner]

F 11.5 Consult Braille alphabet, to verify correct buttons to push.

Cheers,
Joe

[bobsreturn2003]

thought it about right . cheers bob