Yogi Berra-isms

[cellist]

G'day and Happy New Year to all! As an expat Yank, and a New Yawker at that, I thought I'd get your new year started with some of the greatest sayings (?) ever offered.

Yogi was the catcher for the New York Yankees when I was a lad, and he was about 5'6" tall, and a terrific ball player. Later, he became the manager of the Yankees.

Perhaps the scariest thing is that some of these quotes make real sense to me. Read them slowly and roll them around in your brain for a minute. You'll find a laugh in here for sure, and probably a few more. Cheers!
Michael


You need to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going because you might not get there.

Ninety percent of the game is half mental.

You can observe a lot by just watching.

It the world was perfect it wouldn’t be.

Nobody goes there anymore; it’s too crowded.

Always go to other people’s funerals; otherwise they won’t go to yours.

The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.

Slump? I ain’t in no slump; I’m just not hitting.

Cut my pizza into four pieces instead of eight. I can’t eat eight pieces.

It ain’t over ‘til it’s over.

We may be lost, but we’re making good time.

They paid me in cash, which is just as good as money.

If you get hurt and miss work, it won’t hurt to miss work.

Ninety percent of puts that fall short of the hole don’t go in.

A home opener is always exciting, no matter if it's home or on the road.

Don't get me right, I'm just asking!

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.

Even Napoleon had his Watergate.

Half the lies they tell me aren't true.

He's a big clog in their machine.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

I'm as red as a sheet.

I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.

I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.

I couldn't tell if the streaker was a man or a woman because it had a bag on it's head.

I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.

I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?

I think they just got through marinating the greens.

I wish I had an answer to that, because I'm tired of answering that question.

I'd find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I'd return it. (When asked what he would do if he found a million dollars.)

If I didn't wake up, I'd still be sleeping.

If people don't want to come out to the ballpark, nobody's going to stop them.

If you ask me a question I don't know I'm not going to answer.

If you can't imitate him, don't copy him.

If you don't know where you're going, you'll wind up somewhere else.

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.

It gets late awfully early around here.

It's like déjà vu all over again.

It's never happened in World Series competition, and it still hasn't.

It's not too far it just seems like it is.

It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future.

It was hard to have a conversation with anyone; there were so many people talking.

Little League baseball is a good thing 'cause it keeps the parents off the streets and it keeps the kids out of the house!

Most of his home runs were hit on artificial turf. (Keep in mind that home runs are hit in the air and over the fence....the equivalent of a "6" in cricket...)

Never answer an anonymous letter.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Okay, boy, pair up in threes.

Pitching always beats batting -- and vice-versa.

Steve McQueen looks good in this movie. He must have made it before he died.

Surprise me! (When his wife, Carmen, asked where he would like to be buried.)

The future ain't what it used to be.

The only reason I need these gloves is cause of my hands.

The towels were so thick at that hotel I could hardly close my suitcase.

The wind always seems to blow against catchers when they are running.

There are some people who, if they don't already know, you can't tell 'em.

We have a good time together, even when we're not together.

We made too many wrong mistakes.

What? You mean right now? (When asked what time it was.)

When you get to a fork in the road, take it.

Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.

You don't look so hot yourself. (Reply when told he looked cool in his summer suit by the New York Mayor's wife. )

You have to give 100 percent in the first half of the game. If that isn't enough, in the second half, you have to give what's left.

[joe greiner]

All of them are pearls. Thanks for the collection.

The one about funerals, or something like it, is also attributed to Sam Goldwyn, the movie producer - another language butcher.

Joe

[Ozkaban]

My two favourite people for quotes are Winston Churchill and Yogi Bera (go figure)

My favourite is "In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is."

there's pure genius in that one...

cheers,
Dave

[tea lady]

I like the practical theory one too.