Paddy & Mick

[gemi_babe]

Paddy & Mick are walking home after a night on the p**s. They've got no
money to get a taxi and are staggering all over the place when they find
themselves outside the bus depot.


Paddy has a brain wave and says to Mick, "Get in there and steal a bus so
we can drive home and I'll stay out here and look out for the police."
Mick duly breaks into the garage and is gone for twenty minutes while Paddy is wondering what the hell he's doing. Eventually Paddy sticks his head around the door and sees Mick running from bus to bus to bus looking very worried.
"What the bleedin' heck are you doing Mick, get a move on!"


Mick replies, "I can't find a number 27A anywhere Paddy"


Paddy, holding his hands to his head in disbelief, shouts, "You f***ing
idiot Mick, steal a number 42 and we'll get off at the roundabout and walk
the rest of the way home"

[stevephillips]

Paddy and Mick are out the next day having been bailed by Paddy's mum. Still smarting from the bollicking and stoney broke Paddy asks Mick if he has the price of a beer, 'nope' says Mick 'just 50p'.
'Roight' says Paddy 'I want you to go into the butchers and buy a large pork sausage'. Mick knowing better than to question Paddy's sanity does as he is told and armed with a sausage they enter the first pup and order double whiskeys. 'Now' says Paddy 'when the barman comes for payment drop the sausage out of your fly and Ill suck it'. The result of course was instant eviction from the pub. 'Great! what a craik' says Mick 'lets do it again'.
They repeat this pattern all over town until in an advanced state of refreshment and barely able to stand Paddy says to Mick 'to be sure me livers exhausted and me joints are killin me from all the kneeling we gotta stop now'
Mick say 'I agree, Its starting to get to me too, I lost the sausage 4 pubs ago'. :eek: