So what's all this about, then?

[silentC]

.. in the shape of ...

[Driver]

... the traditional Tudor Rose, of course ...

[Termite]

..the petals were a bit wilted, what with the blast and all. The Captain said " I can fix this wilt, all it needs is a bit of moisture". With this he hauled out his monstrous...

[ernknot]

moisturiser and after a few hand pumps proceeded to spray.....

[craigb]

...the singed silouette. Which was a pretty useles thing to do 'cause no amount of moisturising was going to bring Bracegrunt back to life.

This bizarre behaviour of the Cap'n started to make the rest of the crew members very uncomfortable and before long rumblings of mutiny were heard amongst the crew.

It was Willlencee who said ....

[ernknot]

"the Cap'n has lost his marbels and we must now....."

[Grunt]

play tiddley winks and ...

[craigb]

..choose a new Cap'n. However, they realised that the only person who knew how to actaully play tiddly winks was Mr Barcegrunt and he was a smoldering sillouette.

So they settled for shove ha'penny instead.

"Rright" said mr Zwinnger "you're up first Staines" .

Seaman ....

[ernknot]

Staines misunderstood because he thought " No one is getting up me, I do the up getting around here" and with that he......

[ozwinner]

.....ducked when the delete axe headed his way.

[ernknot]

"Gosh, that was close" he said. I must be more careful in the future or........

[Caliban]

...or I might end up like poor Roger, who for those of you who don't know was washed overboard when the Gevil Iant sent a rain of men down on the luckless crew. The cabin boy referred to in a recent post was the understudy. Most of us thought that Roger drowned and that would have been preferrable to the horrible predicament he found himself in.
Roger was drowning, when he was plucked from the water by a floatilla of men dressed as nuns on their way to Sydney (where such sights are popular). The affection they bestowed upon Roger was enough to make the Evil Delete button Giant take pity on Roger, the Giant was looking back through his used signatures and noticed one that said something about doing a good turn, so he took this opportunity and did a good turn for Roger.
What it entailed was giving him an apprenticeship in the noble profession of woodturning. Roger was no longera cabin boy, he was an apprentice, with his own coffee mug hanging on the peg above the sink near the lathe. The cup proudly bore the message
Roger the Apprentice

[Driver]

... which didn't really help.

The Giant was, of course, well-intentioned (slurping noises) but he had not, in his haste to resolve Roger's predicament, grasped the ineluctable fact that it was not Roger's profession that caused his problem but his name. Making him an apprentice gave poor ol' Roger a fleeting and transitory feeling of security but this was sadly and disastrously dashed when the Sydney-bound flotilla of cross-dressing nuns heard one of their number read the legend on Roger's cup:

"Roger the Apprentice!" he said, whereupon there was a mad scramble to ...

[MarkV]

check out his indentures:eek:

[ernknot]

and other qualifications ( nudge nudge wink wink )