Two Farmers

[fenderbelly]

Twa Aberdonian farmers, Tam and Rab, are sitting in the Farmers bar drinking beer. Tam turns to Rab and says, 'Ye ken fit? I'm tired o'gan through life athoot an education. I'morn, I think I'll go doon to the squeel and sign up for some nicht classes.' Rab thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day Tam goes down to the school and meets the Lecturer, who signs him up for the four basic classes:Maths, English, History, and Logic.

'Logic?' Tam says. 'Fit's at?'
The Lecturer says, 'I'll show you. Do you own a Strimmer?'

'Aye'

' Then logically because you own a Strimmer, I think that you have a Garden. '

Tam replies, 'At's true, I div hae a Gairden.'

I'm not done,' the Lecturer says. 'Because you have a Garden, I think logically that you would have a house.'

'Aye, I dee huv a hoose.'

'And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family.'

'I hiv a femily.'

'I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife.'

'Man! Yer nae wrang!! I div hae a wife!!'

'And because you have a wife, then logically you must be a heterosexual.'

'I am that! a heterosexual. That's amazin'!! You were able to find a' that oot, jist 'cos huv a strimmer.'

Excited to take the class now, Tam shakes the Lecturers's hand and leaves to meet Rab at the pub. He tells Rab about his classes, how he is signed up for Maths, English, History and Logic.

'Logic?' Rab says, 'Fit's at?'

Tam says, 'I'll show ye. Do you huv a strimmer?'

'No.'

'Weel then, ye must be a poof.'

[bookend]

What's a strimmer?

[Grumpy John]

What's a strimmer?

Whipper Snipper, line tRIMMER, it's a pommie thing (sorry to any Scotts).