So what's all this about, then?

[Driver]

... one and only hand tool and ...

[Termite]

...with his one and only hand, proceeded to...

[silentC]

... crack a beer with it. "You've got to be yanking my chain if you think I'm getting in that pit with you, I'm going inside to watch the telly. There's a new show called ...

[Driver]

... "This Really, Really Old House". It's all about cave and hovel renovations and I want to ...

[Caliban]

get an ex member of a male strip show to run the gig and charm the pants off little old ladies because we have to take public attention away from the paedophile tendencies of our forebears

[Driver]

At this point, Seaman Staines intervened.

"But, Norm!" he said. "What are we going to do with all the old ladies' knickers once they have been charmed off them?"

"I've got an idea!" said Roger, returning to an upright position. "Let's ...

[silentC]

... put them over our heads and hold up the local Bunnings. I need some ...

[Grunt]

When Susan read this she put the book down again. Increasingly she felt that this book was written by a complete lunatic however it was oddly compelling. It did trouble her that she seemed to be a character that briefly appeared in the story. Susan picked up the book again and ...

[Driver]

.. found herself standing outside Bunnings with a pair of very roomy knickers on her head, ranged alongside Roger the Cabin Boy, Seaman Staines and good ol' Norm, all attired in similar headgear. They moved purposefully towards a large display of ...

[echnidna]

... called its publisher in the hope she could sell this whole thread to him as a fantasy novel with TV spin offs ....

[Bob Willson]

The publisher of course refused, because that would have been a serious breach of copywrite. This had absolutely no effect on Roger the cabin boy, nor on Seaman Semen Stains. They, taking this unexpected break in the story line as an excuse for a little bit of hanky panky, had, after ensuring that Susan was still essentially blinded by the very roomy and also somewhat pungent knickers, had sneaked into a little used section of the Bunnings Hardware store that actually gave away ..

[Caliban]

a hard cover book binding with which the omnipotent decided to end this thread as no quality replies had recently been forthcoming (we can only wish)

[silentC]

froze, his hand poised over the mouse, which was poised over the 'close thread' button on the screen before him. He shifted his gaze to the autographed picture hovo had sent to him last Christmas.

"Do I really want to listen to anything this fellow says?"

[craigb]

To which he answered to himself , "No not really. Actually I prefered the story when Staines, Norm and Roger were outside Bunnies. I wanted to see what was going to happen next"

So ....

[Caliban]

listened to what he thought was the voice of reason, actually it was the voice of SilentC and as the autographed photo he'd sent to wasn't of himself but a character from an old film called "a Clockwork Orange", he decided not to listen to that voice either. So smiled to himself and said
"Now Children!, I do read these pages!"
whereupon they all decided to behave and went back to making lurid second hand jokes about the cabin boy and his adventures in ...