So what's all this about, then?

[Driver]

... corner of the Good Ship Venus.

Normally, of course, cold would have the effect of reducing the proportions of affected appendages but, dear reader (if you're still with us) you must remember that Roger is inverted - doing a handstand, in fact - and that his inversion causes opposite effects to the norm. Speaking of whom ...

[Caliban]

Norm (by another freak hiccup in the scriptwriters thought patterns) suddenly found himself transported from the comfort of his sport watching chair into the midst of the good ship Venus. When he saw Roger, upside down, naked and unaffected by the cold he was suddenly more interested in participating in a little sport rather than simply being a spectator, so he whipped out his...(don't say wooden, anyone)...

[echnidna]

.... harmonica....

[Caliban]

and "with them windshield wipers slapping time and Bobby clapping hands, we finally sang up every song that Driver knew!"

[craigb]

Anyway, after Norm had finished his slightly dodgy rendition of the Kris Kristoffsen classic, he reverted to type and started demonstrating his woodworking skills. "I'll just put in a couple brads" was his catchphrase and it was something that drove ....

[Caliban]

the slightly deaf chainsaw chic into defensive mode because she thought he was intending to impregnate her with a couple of "brats", so she fired up the beast and proceeded to...

[Driver]

... power those brads home thus pointing up the difference between Norm and his acolytes (the Normites) and the various Galoots and Neanderthals who clove loyally to their hand-powered ...

[Caliban]

cabin boys

[craigb]

who were o.k. for sweeping the shed floor but absoulutely useless when it came to setting up the table saw for a dado cut.
In fact, Norm was so disgruntled that he seriously considered ....

[Grunt]

putting parts of the cabin boys anatomy into the thicknesser but decided against it because ...

[craigb]

it wouldn't look good on TV.

So to punish them he sent them out back to the sawpit and gave them a log of spotted gum and said "Boys, I want you to...

[Christopha]

,,,, weduthe thith wooden thing to mere thplinterth and thtop wiggling ththe cute little bunth at me becauthe it maketh me go all......

[vsquizz]

wooden...

[ernknot]

eyed upon which the ......

[silentC]

... cabin boys squealed in unison "Hang on, you're not Norm Abram, you're that fat guy from the 'Life Be In It' ads, you know, the one that looks like Gough. All hail Gough. Get down here in this pit, boy, and let's see that blubber fly." Realising that something peculiar was going on, Norm took out his ...