Marriage quotes from famous

[Shrek3]

Marriage works best for men than women. The two happiest groups are married men and unmarried women.
- Gloria Steinem

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?
- Carrie Snow

The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after. Forty is when you watch the TV during. Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.
- Unknown

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
- Mickey Rooney

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
- Woody Allen (Hollywood Ending, 2002)

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.
- Helen Rowland

My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
- Roseanne Barr

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
- Anonymous

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
- Johnny Carson

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
- Rodney Dangerfield

When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.
- Molly McGee

[rsser]

Sam Johnson said something like

'There are two fallacies in marriage: one that a husband can educate his wife; the other that a wife can reform her husband'.

...

Over the centuries since, as women are now better educated than men on average that leaves the one fallacy.

Women, you have been warned.