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Thread: Kinda OT, but nearly true
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12th October 2008, 04:32 AM #1Woodturner
- Join Date
- Jan 2006
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Kinda OT, but nearly true
[If this is too far out please delete it]
NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS
CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no xxx.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
-- Wood Listener--
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12th October 2008, 09:34 PM #2
Thanks, Gil.
I'll have to send a copy to my broker, if he hasn't absquatulated.
JoeOf course truth is stranger than fiction.
Fiction has to make sense. - Mark Twain
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13th October 2008, 12:01 PM #3
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14th October 2008, 06:09 AM #4Woodturner
- Join Date
- Jan 2006
- Location
- Lake Seminole, Georgia USA
- Age
- 80
- Posts
- 0
Well, good luck, if he has ran off or been tossed out.
-- Wood Listener--
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