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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    0

    Default Pilots & Air Traffic Controllers #2

    A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long
    roll out after touching down.
    San Jose Tower: "American 751, make a hard right at the end of
    the runway if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadelope
    exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the
    airport."

    A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for a start clearance in Munich,
    overheard the following: "Lufthansa (in German) Ground, what
    is our start clearance time?"
    Ground: (in English) "If you want an answer, you must speak
    English."
    Lufthansa: (in English) "I am German, flying a German aircraft, in
    Germany. Why must I speak English?"
    Unknown voice from another plane (with a beautiful English accent)
    "Because you lost the bloody war."

    Tower: "Eastern 702 cleared for takeoff, contact departure on
    frequency 124.7."
    Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By
    the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal
    on the far end of the runway."
    Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702,
    contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report
    from Eastern 702?"
    Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, and yes
    we copied Eastern. We've already notified out caterers."

    The pilot of a Cherokee 180 had been told by the tower to hold
    short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed,
    rolled out, turned around and taxied back past the Cherokee.
    Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio
    and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by
    yourself?"
    The cherokee pilot, not to let an insult go by, came back with
    a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing
    like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 1999
    Location
    Westleigh, Sydney
    Age
    78
    Posts
    1,332

    Default

    Unidentfied aircraft giving a cloud level report: 'Touching the bottoms at 7000'.

    Another unidentified aircraft, French accent: 'Vive la sport.'
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Gold Coast
    Posts
    8

    Default

    JAL airliner approaching Honolulu in the 1960s

    Tower: Land on Runway 2

    Pilot: Which one is that?

    Tower: Haven't you been here before?

    Pilot: Not since 1941....
    "If something is really worth doing, it is worth doing badly." - GK Chesterton

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