Definitions

[Ozkaban]

Auditor: A person sent in after the battle to stab the wounded

Bank manager: A jerk who will lend you an umbrella when the sun is shining, and ask for it back when it starts to rain.

Budget: A method for going broke methodically.

Camel: A horse designed by a committee.

College: The place where you have three options--to sleep, to study, or to party - but only get to pick two per semester.

Committee: A cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.

Committee: A group that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

Committee: The unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.

Democracy: Three wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.

Diplomacy: The art of saying 'Nice doggie!' ... till you can find a rock.

Diplomat: A man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

Eccentric: Too rich to be called crazy.

Economist: One who tells you what to do with your money after you've spent it.

Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny.

Experience: A comb life gives you after you lose your hair.

Hangover: The wrath of grapes.

Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.

Honest politician: One who, when bought, stays bought.

Insane: When you're nuts and it bothers you. (Crazy is when you're nuts and you like it).

Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.

Kleptomaniac: One who can't help himself from helping himself.

Paper clip: The larval stage of coat hangers.

Politics: From the words 'poly' meaning 'many' and 'ticks' as in 'small, blood-sucking parasites'.

Reality: A crutch for people who can't face drugs.

Recursion: see Recursion.

Selfishness: Not being considerate of other people's selfishness.

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

Slander: To lie, or tell the truth about someone.

Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.

Windows 95: 32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company that can´t stand 1 bit of competition

[Batpig]

Ozkaban,

I like those sort of social-commentary list-things so much, that I'm actually typing this reply before I've even finished reading your post. How about that! After I've clicked on "Submit Reply", I'll go back to finish reading it at leisure...

Good Stuff ,
Batpig.

[tea lady]

[Batpig]

Look, I've just finished reading the rest of it, and the rest was even better than the first bit I read...

Again, Great Stuff Ozkaban...
Batpig.