Reckon this will get me into trouble.

[Phil Spencer]

Why Men Are Just Happier People

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah .

If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.


EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even
though it's only for $32.50.
None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from Bi-Lo.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.

A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.


ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.

There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

[Claw Hama]

Hi Phil, I for one am not offened at all, why could anyone be in trouble for telling the truth?

[kekemo]

........but you missed some important ones...

mainly, the reason why women have more car accidents than men......
You guy's would have us believe that 4" is equal to 8"....that's why we apparently can't judge distances or thicknesses.......LOL

really ...Not a wonder were better at woodwork!......LOL....

(no....just taken' the micky out-of your joke...)...great ones....they can go on for ever....best part of Aussie humor...we shelia's can laugh at them too....we even laugh at Blonde jokes....

Best of luck....Keep woodworking...KEKEMO

[wheelinround]

If a man had as much tools & equipment in his shed as a woman has in her side of the wardrobe he be a lucky fellow .