Gloating, boasting, bragging, skiting...

[Frank&Earnest]

A couple of days ago, a very respectable member posted this sentence:

Gloating is OK in Anglo culture; boasting is not.

Is this true? If it is, why? Gloating implies malice, boasting implies pride. Neither is gentlemanly, but I would happily admit being a bit boastful, never to deliberately gloat. So please educate me in the ways of Anglo culture. Are the Anglos really happy to be malicious, do they need to be instructed on how to read a dictionary, or what?

[HappyHammer]

I'm Anglo and I'm not fond of either.

HH.

[Ron Dunn]

I thought a "gloat" was one of the less tasteful things to come from our American woodworking brethren.

[Gingermick]

That's cause y'all aren't as good as me nor have my fantastic tools, workbench timber et al.

[tea lady]

Yes, but!!! Its OK to stir people, which was what the quote was doing, me thinks. In fact, the more we like you the more we stir. Its also OK to gloat OR boast as long as you do it in a sort of stirring, self deprecating way. Ah! Aussie culture is complicated.

[AlexS]

Schadenfreud trumps them both.

[Frank&Earnest]

I agree, Alex, Schadenfreude is one step up from gloating, and the fact that this German word has been accepted in the Macquarie dictionary could indicate that indeed gloating is part of the culture. Still I do not understand what makes malice acceptable, though. Of course, as Tea Lady says, making fun of ourselves makes bad things like this more palatable (ha ha Mick).

The Americans seem to be an easy target, and maybe they do not know the difference between gloating and boasting, but while the quoted poster thought that they boast, because that's what he does not like, Ron here suggests that they gloat, which presumably is what Ron does not like. Rather subjective, methinks.

[underfoot]

can't see the problem,myself

"boasting and gloating "

isn't that trying to get the goat in the boat (whilst drunk)?

and "schadenfreude" thats just laughing at Germans that fall over,

or is that when you give Sigmund an umbrella?

[Ron Dunn]

Frank&Earnest, I understand the difference between "gloat" and "boast". What I dislike is that both too often represent taking unfair advantage of a person or circumstance.

Example (contrived): Look at this great table saw I got for 1/10th of its real value. Real meaning: I took advantage of someone who didn't know the true value of this item.

[joe greiner]

Thanks for bringing this up. I'd been using the term "gloat" without appreciating its connotation. According to my AMERICAN dictionary, "gloat" does indeed incorporate malicious pleasure. I promise to retire the word and sin no more. I don't know if I can influence any other Yanks, but I'll try. The English language is a Work In Progress - always has been, always will be. Even Dr. Johnson despaired that the language was going to hell in a handbasket.

My dictionary's entry for "boast" seems to have the most complete usage notes, with synonyms of "brag," "crow," and "vaunt." I haven't yet sorted out an appropraite replacement for "gloat." I don't think most of us intend to include malice, just a wee bit of satisfaction.

Joe

[Honorary Bloke]

Gloating implies malice, boasting implies pride. Neither is gentlemanly, but I would happily admit being a bit boastful, never to deliberately gloat. So please educate me in the ways of Anglo culture. Are the Anglos really happy to be malicious, do they need to be instructed on how to read a dictionary, or what?

I suspect in their purest meaning (i.e., as defined by the current dictionary) both are considered poor form in Anglo culture. But I also suspect that, at least in WW circles (I am not too familiar with other subject-specific forums), the term "gloat" has begun to take on a different meaning, viz. to tell one's acquaintances about a new tool, for example, not with malicious intent but only to share the information with like-minded people. If the Group accepts the new meaning, all is well. If not, misunderstanding and strife results.

That it is a corruption of the term there can be little doubt, but it happens all the time. I can remember clearly when gay meant happy and carefree.

[Frank&Earnest]

Thanks Joe and Bob, you are confirming my gut feeling that it is only a matter of loose and changing interpretation of the word, not really one of "culture". A little bit of malice certainly lurks in all human beings regardless of culture, methinks.

And how ironic that you are both from the other side of the pond...
I am proud of my Milanese heritage, and the Milanese were traditionally called "braggarts" in Italy because they had the most of everything, like Texas or Sydney...

The story goes that a Texan tourist picks up a taxi at Milan's main train station, a huge mass of marble and cement in monumental fascist style and says "Great! how long did it take you to build?" and the cab driver:
- "About three years, I think."
- " Oh, in Texas it would have taken three months."
Then the tourist looks on the right and sees the Pirelli skyscraper, for many years the tallest armored cement building in the world.
- And how long to build that?
- About two years.
- Oh, in Texas it would have taken two months.
Silence for five minutes, then the cab gets to Piazza del Duomo, where the imposing cathedral, built over four centuries, stands.
- And how long to build that?
And the cab driver, with the straightest face:
- Don't know, it wasn't here when I passed by this morning!

Ron, I was not at all suggesting that you do not know the difference, my apologies if it read that way. I was only saying that the value given to the words seems to be rather subjective, wich is consistent with what Joe and Bob say.

[Andy Mac]

A couple of days ago, a very respectable member posted this sentence:



Is this true? If it is, why? Gloating implies malice, boasting implies pride. Neither is gentlemanly, but I would happily admit being a bit boastful, never to deliberately gloat. So please educate me in the ways of Anglo culture. Are the Anglos really happy to be malicious, do they need to be instructed on how to read a dictionary, or what?

Its seems to me that boasting is done with serious intent, that would almost be un-Australian and whoever does it deserves to be taken down a peg; whereas gloating is done with some sense of self-deprecation, not to be taken quite seriously. The word to me has some sort of comic over-blown aspect, like a vaudeville stage swagger.
I've noticed it is used a lot on forums, but seems to be part of a competitive comeraderie. Extend that to the Australian slagging-off between mates (persiflage, sledging?), there is an element of competitiveness, but generally lacks real malice...everyone knows the rules. Its when sledging steps over a certain mark that malice becomes obvious, as we've seen on the cricket pitch. And I dare say that gloating could descend into boasting.

Cheers,

[Ron Dunn]

"Persiflage"

I just had to go and look that one up. Nice word

[Frank&Earnest]

I think I get the gist of what you are saying Andy, but just to be sure, is what you are saying basically what somebody else (can't remember, quoting from memory) expressed as:

the difference between Americans and Australians is that when seeing somebody passing by in a Cadillac, an American thinks: "One day I will also drive in one of those", an Australian thinks: "That bastard, why doesn't he drive a Ford like everybody else?"