Corporate Lesson #1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which
one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps
herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there
stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she could say a word, Bob says,
"I'll give you $800 to drop that towel that you have on."

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves. Confused, but
excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and
goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks
from the shower, "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your
shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable
exposure.

Corporate Lesson #2

A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. He
stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed
her legs, forcing her habit to open and reveals a lovely leg. The priest had
a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily
slid his hand up her leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said,
"Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to
remove his hand. Changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

Once again the priest apologized, "Sorry, Sister, but the flesh is
weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance and
went on her way.

Upon his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and
looked up Psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find
glory."

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.

Corporate Lesson #3

A sales representative, an administration clerk, and the manager are
walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a
Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant
three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.

In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in
Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply
of pina coladas, and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

Corporate Lesson #4

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the
crow and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not?"

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and rested. All of a
sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Corporate Lesson #5

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after
eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth
night, there he was, proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was
promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

Bullsh!t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.