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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    675

    Default Abbot & Costello

    You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

    If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:

    COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT


    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

    COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

    ABBOTT: Your computer?

    COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

    ABBOTT: Mac?

    COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

    ABBOTT: What about Windows?

    COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

    ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

    COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

    ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

    COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

    ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

    COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

    ABBOTT: I just did.

    COSTELLO: You just did what?

    ABBOTT: Recommend something.

    COSTELLO: You recommended something?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: For my office?

    ABBOTT: Yes.

    COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

    ABBOTT: Office.

    COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

    ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

    COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

    ABBOTT: Word.

    COSTELLO: What word?

    ABBOTT: Word in Office.

    COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

    COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

    ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

    COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

    ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

    COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

    ABBOTT: Money.

    COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

    ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

    ABBOTT: One copy.

    COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

    COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

    (A few days later)

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

    COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

    ABBOTT: Click on "START".............
    Great plastering tips at
    www.how2plaster.com

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Latrobe Valley Victoria
    Posts
    196

    Default

    Love it
    well done
    Electricity:
    One Flash and you're ASH

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    North Of The Boarder
    Age
    68
    Posts
    0

    Default

    its an oldie but goodie

    Who's on 1st

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Hornsby. NSW
    Age
    62
    Posts
    49

    Default

    hehehe


    re-live the moment on [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sShMA85pv8M"]youtube [/ame]
    Thank God for senility... now I don't feel so silly any more.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    675

    Default

    Thanks for that FANTASTIC!
    Great plastering tips at
    www.how2plaster.com

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Munruben, Qld
    Age
    84
    Posts
    0

    Default

    Yes, its real good.
    Reality is no background music.
    Cheers John

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    18

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by rod@plasterbrok View Post

    COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

    ABBOTT: Click on "START".............
    Priceless
    This last statement is perhaps the reason why there is no start button in Vista

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Toowoomba, Qld
    Age
    31
    Posts
    0

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AV Elec View Post
    Priceless
    This last statement is perhaps the reason why there is no start button in Vista
    Knowing Vista it probably says, "Function Button Whistle Pop" or something

    Good one Rod

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