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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 1999
    Location
    Westleigh, Sydney
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    78
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    1,332

    Default Outsourcing isn't so bad!

    PRESIDENT'S JOB OUTSOURCED TO INDIA

    World Reacts Ecstatically

    CONGRESS DECIDES TO DISPATCH GEORGE BUSH'S TO BANGLORE

    From: UPI Sept 19, 2005

    Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America would be outsourced to overseas interests.

    The move will save not only a significant portion of the President's $400,000.00 yearly salary, but also a record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead.

    Mr. Bush's replacement, Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will assume the office of President as of September 1st. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month, but with no health coverage or other benefits. It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without support staff.

    Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, thus making him eligible for the position.

    "We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should be significant," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R- Wash.). Reynolds, with the aid of the Government Accountability Office, has studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively. "We cannot expect to remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.

    Mr. Bush received his termination via e-mail this morning. Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time.

    Due to the time difference between the US and India, the Indian replacement will be working primarily at night, when few offices of the US Government will be open. "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the American Express call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President someday."

    A Congressional Spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem. Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using this tree, he can address common concerns without having to understand anything about the underlying issues at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the Spokesman. "Mr. Bush has used them successfully for years." Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition.

    According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new position due to limited practical work experience. One possibility is re-enlistment in the Air National Guard. Should he choose this option, he would likely be stationed in Iraq, a country he has visited. "I've been there, I know all about Iraq," stated Mr. Bush, who gained invaluable knowledge of the country in a visit to the Baghdad Airport's gift shop. Sources in Baghdad and Falluja say Mr. Bush would receive a warm reception from local Iraqis. They have asked for details of his arrival so that they might arrange a series of appropriate welcomes. An Iraqi insurgent leader said he has always admired Mr. Bush's deep love of God and will arrange a meeting between them.
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  2. #2
    samin Guest

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    Any company be it small or Large at some point or other needs to share its load of work to an outsourcing company that specializes on certain domain. This way the company that outsourced can focus on the project at hand in a better way.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Glen Innes NSW
    Age
    81
    Posts
    26

    Default

    Just wish he would stop moonlighting by trying to flog me a mobile phone!!!!!!!!!!!

    Regards Mike

  4. #4
    rrich Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexS View Post
    Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using this tree, he can address common concerns without having to understand anything about the underlying issues at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the Spokesman. "Mr. Bush has used them successfully for years."
    Doesn't a "Script Tree" require the ability to read?

    Just wondering...

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Armadale
    Posts
    887

    Default

    Good one alexS
    RRich, didnt seem to bother little boy georgie.
    Astrid

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