A tale of two muffins.

[Caliban]

When I read Zed's offer of one of his muffins at the Sydney show, I couldn't resist. I left home at 4.00 am, travelled to Sydney, bought my ticket, rushed to the Ubeaut stand and was given the last two muffins by Chris(topha). Silent C was there too and he was obviously peeved at missing out. So under the pretence of sharing a friendly beer, he plied me with the evil amber liquid until I was in a vulnerable state. He then absconded with the muffins in true Snidley Whiplash fashion. I returned home like Jack (of beanstalk fame) with only a handful of beans. (actually, it was sharpening equipment, but who lets the truth get in the way of a good story?).
So beware the phantom muffin thief.
I now know that the C in Silent C, stands for Covet, as in
"thou shalt not..."
Hmmm.
anyway thanks to Zed and the ubeaut team, for the attempt.
beware Silent, I'm planning my revenge.
As soon as you waterproof that ply you better hire an armed guard.
Bondcrete is my preferred waterproofing agent by the way. It works well unpainted on my boat.

Jim

[Zed]

you shoulda scoffed the buggers when you had the chance.... when my swmbo brings me food in the w/s its eaten straight away so dust or thieves cannot abscond with them.

for the record the "secret recipie" is simply use the cadbury muffin mix available in any supermarket, follow the directions and put extra chocolate buddies in the mix. easy peasy.

ah... stolen food always tastes sweeter dunnit ?

[silentC]

In defence of my honour, I must now offer the full story for those who wish to know it.

It was a Sunday morning, around 11:00am. I was operating undercover at an exhibition in that den of debauchery, Sydney town. Bigmouth Joey had given me some information that this 'Timber and Working with Wood Show' was actually a cover for a giant drug smuggling operation. Now that I think of it, it's pretty obvious really. I mean, the idea of a show that would attract thousands of woodworkers out of their sheds and into the fresh air is just too ridiculous to believe.

I'd been given the tip-off that a courier from the North Shore was dropping off some illicit substances at one of the stands at the show. The pickups were to be made by a number of pigeons over the weekend. My information was that the biggest load would be travelling north and it was to be picked up today by this character known as 'Hovo'. I arranged to meet this fellow under the pretence of buying him a beer. I would tail him and intercept the pickup.

The plan went off without a hitch. It couldn't have been easier. I had Hovo fooled, he introduced me as Silent C (my undercover handle - C for Covert), and they trusted me straight away. I sealed the deal by purchasing a large tub of something called EEE Ultra Shine. There was a tense moment when I almost dropped my cover. How was I to know that EEE is a pun on Tripoli and what's some Lebanese town got to do with woodturning anyway? I think it might be shoe polish but the bald bloke behind the counter told me it tastes good on bread. I think he was trying to mislead me. The goods changed hands and we went on our way. It was a simple matter to slip Hovo a few beers and in his drunken state, he didn't notice that I switched bags.

The muffins are now state evidence in a case against a notorious drug lord, known only by a letter of the alphabet. We're not sure which one, but there's only 26 so it shouldn't take too long to track him down. Stay tuned.

[Driver]

Zed

What the hell was in those muffins? It wasn't just extra chocolate buddies, was it? Whatever it was, it's clearly dangerous. The big loud chook has gone to be replaced by this really dubious-looking bloke in the bowler with the excessive mascara and now he's talking shorthand on the BB! What have you done to our mate Darren?!?

[silentC]

Sorry Col, guess I should screw the lid on that economy size jar of Triple E down a bit tighter, the fumes are going to my head. Actually, it's all starting to make sense: Tripoli, Lebanon, brown stuff in a jar.... Hmmmmm.

[Ben from Vic.]

In defence of my honour

hahahahaha hehehehe, honour, *snort* hahahahaha



Why don't you challenge him to a duel, Midday, Town Square, chisels at 10 paces.

[Caliban]

Ben
Don't challenge Silent C to a duel with chisels, before I was too drunk I learned that he is the master of "scary sharp". We were kicked out of the sharpening stand when the silent one showed up the sharpening guy with the expensive Japanese waterstones and a Lie Nielson with a piece of broken Holden leaf spring he found on the ground and a piece of wet and dry that he was earlier using to improve the sensitivity of his fingertips.(don't ask :eek: )
The sharpening guy was about to leave with his tail between his legs when he realised that it was his stand, so he threw us out before he lost anymore customers to this country bumpkin with the razor sharp threat to his livelihood.
Those muffins could have paid for new tablesaws for everyone on these forums, (painted Orange for Sturdee, of course) Damned chook. :mad:
The alchemist and his doorway mate had perfected the recipe so that the sniffer dogs couldn't detect it. Neil, you forgot about all those lab tests with chickens picking the right button.
I was completely innocent, of course. Neil told me I was taking chocky muffins to his old, sick granny. How could I refuse. One smell of them and I knew that McDonalds would sell millions of them. Rich I tell you!
I would never have offered to transport them if I'd known they contained narcotics. Honest.