Cats & Dogs

[Jim Carroll]

THE DOG'S DIARY:

7 am- Oh boy! A walk! My favourite!
8 am- Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9 am- Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
Noon- Oh boy! The yard! My favourite!
2 pm- Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite!3 pm- Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
4 pm- Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite!
6 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favourite!
7 pm- Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favourite!
8 pm- Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9 pm- Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favourite!
11 pm- Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favourite!

THE CAT'S DIARY:

Day 183 of my captivity...My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their
feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

But I can wait.It's only a matter of time...

[Barry Hicks]

You got that right Jim!

[Allan at Wallan]

Yep, everyone down Drysdale way loves cats
... especially when they win premierships.


Allan

___________________________________

I am not at all worried about dying
... but just hope I am not there at the time.