Colonoscopy comments

[Barry Hicks]

The following comments were allegedly made to a US doctor by patients undergoing colonoscopies -

1. "Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."

8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit."

10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

12. "God, now I know why I'm not gay."

13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"

[pawnhead]

[scooter]

After the Doc said "time for a quick update"

[woodcutta]

I had both a Colonoscopy and Gastroscopy on one trip to hospital.

I warned he doctor to do the front end first and then the backend - If he tried it the other way round and tried to put it in my mouth after it had been 'up there' he'd sure have a fight on his hands!!

woodcutta

[Barry Hicks]

WC, that's the test doctors use to see if you are suffering from a weak stomach.

[Pusser]

Just remember to count the hands on your shoulders

[Ashore]

Worst thing about having a Colonoscopy bag is getting the shoes to match.