The Code of Practice

[m2c1Iw]

Possable ammendment Col
" The code shall be that copy last posted by Brother Driver ( or his successor ) in the U-Beaut Woodwork Forum, all other copies to be destroyed and other posted copies of earlier versions of the Code ignored so that the code remains universal and a bloke entering any Shed that is operating under the Code ( see 5.7.4 displaying warning signes ) shall be aware of all rules and regulations pertaining therein "

Then is simple for all

Hi All,
I have seen references to the Code in a number of posts and up until stumbling upon this thread thought that the members (brothers) where simply applying commonly held attitudes by blokes to a particular circumstance or situation.
Blissfully ignorant I was to the existence of a document which provides definition and guidance in all things Blokely.
So now while I don't give a toss about my Blokeliness as I have been refered to as a Bloke, good Bloke and even a top Bloke I am troubled by aspects of the existence of said document and wish to defer to the Drafting Committee as to how my concerns might be addressed.
1. If a Bloke (not me of course) was to committ a transgression as prescribed by the Code what then will be the result. Will there be some punitive action and how or when would it be applied.
2. Does the committee envisage a response according to the degree of transgression, if so will an attempt be made to prescribe both the hierachy of fopah and the resultant penance.
3. As a result of a Bloke being found guily of a serious breach of the Code and any applicable punishment be recommended should the Code encorporate an appeals process.

Thankyou in advance for your consideration and my congratulations go to the drafting committee on a fine body of work thus far, although youse Blokes should spend more time in the shed utilsing clause 5.17 after committing 7.3 and evoking 7.3.3.4 or perhaps simply 8.1. Hmmm......as should I.

Regards Mike

[Driver]

Hi All,

1. If a Bloke (not me of course) was to committ a transgression as prescribed by the Code what then will be the result. Will there be some punitive action and how or when would it be applied.
2. Does the committee envisage a response according to the degree of transgression, if so will an attempt be made to prescribe both the hierachy of fopah and the resultant penance.
3. As a result of a Bloke being found guily of a serious breach of the Code and any applicable punishment be recommended should the Code encorporate an appeals process.

1. Depends on what said bloke does and who finds out (nudge, nudge, wink, wink).
2. Nah.
3. Nah. Appeals process? Sounds a bit too chap-like to me.

Thankyou in advance for your consideration and my congratulations go to the drafting committee on a fine body of work thus far, although youse Blokes should spend more time in the shed utilsing clause 5.17 after committing 7.3 and evoking 7.3.3.4 or perhaps simply 8.1. Hmmm......as should I.

True. But it bothers me that you seem so familiar with the relevant paras and sub-paras. You haven't read all of it have you?

[Wild Dingo]

But it bothers me that you seem so familiar with the relevant paras and sub-paras. You haven't read all of it have you?

That in and of itself should surely be a transgression brother Driver? As one who reckons the damned things way overly long and full of that foreign lingo called legaleze and so havent actually done the chappy thing and read it from woe to go Id have to concur with brother Wild Dingo and say he has transgressed the code on at least several violations

Now as to said transgressions and possible punishments... I do feel you may need to include sentancing laws and such?

AND MAKE THE SODDING THING SHORTER!!!

[silentC]

MAKE THE SODDING THING SHORTER!!!

That is an absolute hoot!!

[Driver]

That in and of itself

Er, wha?

As one who reckons the damned things way overly long and full of that foreign lingo called legaleze

Expressions like ; 'In and of itself', for example?

Id have to concur with brother Wild Dingo

I'm delighted to learn that you agree with yourself, Ding.

Now as to said transgressions and possible punishments... I do feel you may need to include sentancing laws and such?

At the risk of repeating meself: Nah. Definitely sounds way too chap-like.

AND MAKE THE SODDING THING SHORTER!!! ?

Gotta agree with silent - that, mate, is an absolute bloody ripper!

In all seriousness (), it's The Code. It's intended to provide guidance for blokes. It certainly isn't intended to provide some sort of quasi-legal, half-@rsed set of statutes that can be used by nit-picking wankers to inflict punishment on blokes who look like they may have forgotten to behave in an entirely bloke-like manner.

The minute it starts to be used by the nit-pickers to beat up blokes, that's when this particular bloke calls time and walks away.

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

I look at it this way: it's my shed and I'll do what I bloody want in it. I see no problems whatsoever with my breaking the code in my shed.

However, being caught at is a punishable offence and, depending on the severity of the infringement and mood of the forum in general, may result in anything from general taunts and derision by your peers to being denigrated to mere "chap" status.

In other words, do what you want but make sure there aren't any witnesses! (Especially if they're carrying cameras. Do you really want pix of your frilly curtains being passed around under the counter? )

[Wild Dingo]

Waddidido??

I agree its my shed and if I wanna do this in there or this or this or heck even if I wanna do this or this even or pretend to be this ooops thats right I already do that! anyways whatever I flamin well choose to do in my shed then by gawd an all thats holey I will... cause my shed

Sorta like that eh Skewy

[Cliff Rogers]

Give me a shot at it...

If ya FAQ up, (committ a transgression) ya risk being branded as a 'chap' or a 'dick head' or a 'raving poof' simple.

Next!

[Wild Dingo]

Give me a shot at it...

If ya FAQ up, (committ a transgression) ya risk being branded as a 'chap' or a 'dick head' or a 'raving poof' simple.

Next!

aaahhh uuummm sorta like your chintz curtains eh Cliffy

[Wild Dingo]

OKAY I GOTS IT!!

The Code of Practice

Condenced version

For my shed and all within it to be taken particular notice of by:
missus
hoons
visitors
and anyone or thing that enters said shed

1) It is MY SHED

Do NOT argue with this FACT!!

2) Dont like it... LEAVE (use of other expleatives acceptable as you determine appropriate)

Do NOT argue with this FACT!! Just walk away

3) You come into MY SHED you do as I say not as you want no arguments no discussion

I AM GOD OF MY SHED!! I RULE!!

4) If you want to stay DONT STAND STILL doing nothing!

Sanding is always good! And YOU get the BEER!!

5) WHO ARE YOU? GET OUT OF MY SHED!!

I think I can get that nice an clear onto an A3 sheet

[m2c1Iw]

I look at it this way: it's my shed and I'll do what I bloody want in it. I see no problems whatsoever with my breaking the code in my shed.

However, being caught at is a punishable offence and, depending on the severity of the infringement and mood of the forum in general, may result in anything from general taunts and derision by your peers to being denigrated to mere "chap" status.

In other words, do what you want but make sure there aren't any witnesses! (Especially if they're carrying cameras. Do you really want pix of your frilly curtains being passed around under the counter? )

Ah…..as I suspected the Code while now existing in the written word the said document has not changed the time honoured practice of taking the pi$$.

For those that experience brain fade and are identified as having strayed from accepted Blokely practice a reminder is extended to observe the Code. The reminder should take the form of a swift retort of a witty nature that should cause the transgressor embarrassment commensurate with the extent of chap like behaviour. It should also produce a response from nodding approval to substantial guffawing from those Blokes present.

No further clarification required.

[Cliff Rogers]

aaahhh uuummm sorta like your chintz curtains eh Cliffy

Struth.... I had to look chintz up, still not sure I get it.

[Black Ned]

All transgressors will hereby be referred to as
"A Big Girl's Blouse"

[Honorary Bloke]

Struth.... I had to look chintz up, still not sure I get it.

Don't be thick, Cliff. Ask Wendy if you dont know.

[Cliff Rogers]

Wendy's curtains are lace...

I suspect that Ding is referring to the ones that Silent spotted in a picture of my shed....