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  1. 26th August 2007, 07:08 PM #1
    Allan at Wallan's Avatar
    Allan at Wallan
    Allan at Wallan is offline Retiring type.
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    Default No sleep last night

    I have just had a terrible night and it was because I heard
    a strange noise outside.

    When I looked out there were two blokes pinching
    my side gates.

    I was going to say something to them but they
    may have taken a fence (offence).

    Allan.

    __________________________________________

    I am not at all worried about dying
    ... but just hope I am not there at the time.
  2. 27th August 2007, 05:40 PM #2
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    Allan, you never cease to amaze me.
    Reality is no background music.
    Cheers John
  3. 28th August 2007, 10:04 AM #3
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    Telegram to Allan c/o Wallan PO:

    Dear Allan [stop] Your jokes are terrible [stop] Won't you please, please [stop]

    "I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to."
  4. 28th August 2007, 04:01 PM #4
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    STOP reading my jokes... just in case you crack a smile.

    STOP smiling at my jokes... when no one is looking.

    STOP sending telegrams... there are no telegram boys any more.

    I am reading all your STOP signs but please
    GIVE WAY TO MY RIGHT to make some others happy.

    Kind regards,

    Allan

    _______________________________

    I am not at all worried about dying
    ... but just hope I am not there at the time.
  5. 28th August 2007, 04:11 PM #5
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    See the little smiley face at the bottom of my post? They don't have them in telegrams, but that means I was trying to be humorous. I was parodying a joke from an episode of Blackadder in which he sends a telegram to Charlie Chaplin:

    From Blackadder Goes Forth:

    [after Baldrick's Charlie Chaplin impersonation]
    Captain Blackadder: Yes... take down a telegram, Bob.

    To Mr. Charlie Chaplin, Sennet Studios, Hollywood, California. Congrats stop. Have found only person in world less funny than you stop. Name Baldrick stop. Signed E. Blackadder stop. Oh, and put a P.S.: please, please, please stop.


    Later on....


    Melchett: Oh for goodness sake, Blackadder, have you been living in a cave?
    The Americans joined the war yesterday.

    Edmund: So how is that going to improve the men's morale, sir?

    Melchett: OOooooohhh, because you jibbering imbecile, they've brought with
    them the largest collection of Charlie Chaplin films in existence.
    I've lost patience with you. Fill him in, Darling. (exits)

    Darling: We received a telegram this morning from Mr. Chaplin himself, at
    Sennett Studios: (reads) 'Twice nightly screening of my films in
    trenches, excellent idea stop. But must insist E. Blackadder be
    projectionist stop. Oh PS, don't let him ever stop.'
    Never mind, I amused myself.

    "I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to."
  6. 28th August 2007, 11:45 PM #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by silentC View Post
    ...Never mind, I amused myself.

    There is a word for that.
    Cliff.
    If you find a post of mine that is missing a pic that you'd like to see, let me know & I'll see if I can find a copy.
  7. 29th August 2007, 09:35 AM #7
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    [QUOTE=Allan at Wallan;574926]I have just had a terrible night




    not surprised the way and speed your telling jokes (?)
    I would love to grow my own food, but I can not find bacon seeds
  8. 30th August 2007, 06:18 PM #8
    Allan at Wallan's Avatar
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    To "SilentC"

    I wasn't serious either. Just having a bit of fun.
    Place one of your jokes here and we can both
    have a laugh.

    Best wishes,

    Allan

    _____________________________________________

    I am not at all worried about dying
    ... but just hope I am not here at the time.
  9. 30th August 2007, 09:35 PM #9
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    Don't be unkind, poor old Silent is into self amuse....
  10. 31st August 2007, 09:31 AM #10
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    Well no-one else is going to do it for me!
    "I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to."
  11. 31st August 2007, 08:22 PM #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cliff Rogers View Post
    There is a word for that.
    A famous seafaring character I believe
    Stupidity kills. Absolute stupidity kills absolutely.
  12. 1st September 2007, 09:22 AM #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iain View Post
    A famous seafaring character I believe
    Huh?

    Captain Pugwash is 2 words.
    Cliff.
    If you find a post of mine that is missing a pic that you'd like to see, let me know & I'll see if I can find a copy.
  13. 1st September 2007, 09:37 AM #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cliff Rogers View Post
    Huh?

    Captain Pugwash is 2 words.
    No, his right hand man...........
    Stupidity kills. Absolute stupidity kills absolutely.
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