Past Mistakes - Tell us some of yours

[Black Ned]

Mine was like the end of the world.
When I was in my late teens I fell desperately in love with my mate's sister. Her name was "Dawn" and I was struck dumb whenever she was near. Boy was I shy. Anyway, I found out she was having a birthday soon and thought that this was a good time to show her my feelings and maybe break the ice. At this time a major company regular advertised it's products with the slogan " Dawn - is the softest one" and this was emblazoned all over the packaging. I wanted to tell her that she was the bees knees and I wanted her to be mine. I went to wholesaler and bought a very large supplier's carton of the product and spent a fortune in wrapping paper to make it look really good and disguise the contents. I then bought a plain card and wrote in it - "This says it all" etc. I went around to her place late at night on the eve of her birthday and left the card and the carton on the front verandah, ready for the morning.
Well that did it, she never spoke to me again, I was shunned, never allowed to explain, my dreams were dashed. Why? - the product was "toilet rolls" and she was offended. Boy! do girls think different than boys.

[Cliff Rogers]

I think most mistakes have female in them somewhere.

[wheelinround]

Lindan
Well I'd never thought I'd hear that one again I knew a fellow in Sydney did exactly the same sort of thing for same reasons with same results. all he could say is why and all I could reply in between fits of laughter is "Its sh*& paper she thinks thats what she gives you or makes you think of Ass wipes"

While driving a bus on route service I thought everyone had got off the bus it was quiet I checked mirrors none in sight in side...... so after holding it for quite a while I let it rip only to have some dear old lady who was so short and out of sight say "well I hope that feels better"

Some years later a mate was driving and doing commentary with a hand held microphone he had to drop it landed in his lap still turned on same result except everyone on board heard it through the PA.

[rat52]

You don't really think I am going to tell the world all of my most embarrassing moments do you.?

Mine will go to the grave with me!!!

[munruben]

The biggest mistake I made was not telling my mum that I loved her before she died.

[Bleedin Thumb]

The biggest mistake I made was not telling my mum that I loved her before she died.

I did get to tell my old man I love him before he died...the bastard still didn't leave me a cent...now I regret lieing to him

Sorry munruben no offence meant - its just my tackless sense of humour

[Gra]

I think most mistakes have female in them somewhere.

Or wheels........

[munruben]

I did get to tell my old man I love him before he died...the bastard still didn't leave me a cent...now I regret lieing to him

Sorry munruben no offence meant - its just my tackless sense of humour

No offence taken, If we can't laugh at ourselves then the world would be a sorry place to live in. we must never lose our sense of humour.

[HappyHammer]

Getting out of bed and coming to work this morning....

HH.

[woodcutta]

One of mine was a co-worker was telling me how smart his son was and was selected for the state maths competition.

I sarcastically said " are you sure he's yours" to which he replied " no he's adopted"

If I told you all of them i'd fill up the internet

woodcutta

[silentC]

I was in hospital after having a broken ankle fixed, the guy in the bed across from me was there for the same thing. A lady used to come in every day for a visit and my ex did the same. One day the ex and I were speculating on who his visitor was. I reckoned she looked a bit older than him, maybe she was his mum.

A couple of days later, both women happened to be in at the same time. We started talking about how boring it can be being stuck in a hospital bed. My ex says to him "well at least you've got your mum to come and visit you every day". The blokes wife (as I had by now realised she was but neglected to tell the ex) says "excuse me?". In this little voice the ex says "you're his Mum aren't you?" Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, that was certainly her most embarassing moment.

Me? I've never had one

[Gingermick]

It was a mistake to stop playing trumpet. It was a mistake to start drinking and smoking. It was a mistake to get hooked on an illegal substance (Lots of mistakes involved in that on but been 6+ years clean). It may have been a mistake to get neutered, but another kid would be toooo much. It was a mistake not to read Midnight's Children the first time I borrowed it out, and to not study the first time I was at uni. And to go over to the neighbours the other month to bring SWMBO home safely.

[Rossluck]

I've realised lately that I've made a huge mistake in being generous with tools and other bits and pieces with my neighbours and friends. I'm always on the look-out for bargains to up-grade my tools, and when I find one I usually donate my old one to someone rather than sell it.

This now means that my bank account is far less than it should be, and that my neighbours and friends are extreme moochers who have reached the terrible stage of asking me for stuff.

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

My biggest mistake was believing that hard work paved the way to success.

I put in 20 years of hard yakka and got nothing to show for it except a well-off ex and her sleek lawyers. For the last 10 years I've worked just enough to by me what I want and all the parasites that hung around telling me I should be working harder to save up for "difficult times" have finally given up and moved on to other suckers.

And I've never been happier! Wish I'd known this way back then...

[echnidna]

2 real big mistakes

ex#1 & ex#2