True Story???

[Geoff Dean]

This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline which was transcribed
from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say,
the helpdesk employee was fired. However he is currently suing the
WordPerfect organisation for "Termination without cause".

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now I
know why they record these _conversations!)

(HD)= _Helpdesk
(c) = _Customer

(HD) _"Ridge Hall computer assistance, may I help you?"
(c) _"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

(HD) "What sort of _trouble?"
(c) "Well I was _just typing along, and all of a sudden thewordswent away."

(HD) "Went _away?"
(c) _"They disappeared."

(HD) _"Hmmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
(c) _"Nothing."

(HD) _"Nothing?"
(c) "It's blank. It won't accept anything when I type."

(HD) _"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
(C) _"How can I tell?"

(HD) _"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
(C) "What's a C _prompt?"

(HD) _"Never mind. Can you move your cursor around thescreen?"
(c) _"There isn't any cursor. I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

(HD) "Does your _monitor have a power indicator?"
(c) "What's a _monitor?"

(HD)"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a
_ TV.Does it have a little light that _tells you when it's on?"
(c) "I don't _know."

(HD)"Well then, look on the back of the monitor and find
_ where the power cord goes into it. Can _you see that?"
(c) "Yes, I think so."

(HD) _"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if its plugged into
the _wall.
(c) "Yes it is."

(HD) _"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
_cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
(c) _"No."

(HD) _"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again
_ and find the other cable."
(c) "Okay, here it is."

(HD) _"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back
of your computer."
(c) "I can't reach."

(HD) _"Uh Huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
(c) _"No."

(HD) _"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
(c) _"Oh, it's not because i don't have the right angle - it's because it's
dark."

(HD) _"Dark."
(c) "Yes, the _office light is off, and the only light I have is coming
through the _window."

(HD) _"Well, turn on the office light then."
(c) "I can't."

(HD) _"No? Why not?"
(c) "Because _there's a power failure."

(HD) _"A power...A power failure. Aha. Okay, we've got it lickednow. Do you
still have the boxes and _manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
(c) _"Well, yes. I keep them in the closet."

(HD) "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it
was when you got it. Then _take it back to the store you bought it from."
(c) _"Really? Is it that bad?"

(HD) _"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
(c) "Well, all right then. I suppose. What do I tell them?"

(HD) "Tell them you're too f*cking stupid to own a computer!"

[q9]

Apparently that is true...been going around the net for a few years now, I think I first saw it back in '99.

[Geoff Dean]

Could be, I used to work with someone just like that.