SE QLD New Barbie Range

[Wood Butcher]

>>Hamilton Barbie:
>
>This modern day princess homemaker Barbie is available with a Mercedes
>4WD SUV, a Prada handbag and matching Nike Yoga ensemble.She has a
>master's degree and double-majored, but has the luxury of being a
>stay-at-home mum with Ken's generous salary.
>
>Comes with a prozac Prescription and Botox. Coffee Club mug and
>traffic-jamming Blackberry internet/cell phone device sold separately.
>Husband Ken is into fishing, golfing and is often "working late."
>Available at all inner city suburbs Coffee Club retailers.
>
>New Farm Barbie:
>
>This versatile doll can be easily converted from Ken to Barbie by
simply
>adding or removing snap on parts. Walks to work and hangs out at The
>James Street Markets. Likes to "experiment," but will never commit.
>Wears better clothes than all the other dolls on the market and looks
>down on any model not in a european car, preferably a Porsche 4wd or
BWM
>X5. New Farm Barbie is the most critical of the range and spends a
>considerable amount of time at the gym, at the beautician and at the
>cosmetic surgeon.
>
>This model is available Monday - Saturday however is unavailable until
>after 2pm on Sundays, afterwhich time Barbie comes with dark sunglasses
>and depression.
>
>NOTE: Ken is not available for Barbie in the New Farm Range. Ken is
>limited to the Brad, Travis or Tom range only.
>
>St Lucia Barbie:
>
>This Barbie is only sold at David Jones. She comes with an assortment
of
>Gucci handbags, your choice of a BMW convertible or Range Rover and a
>long-haired foreign lapdog named "Honey."
>
>Also available is her cookie-cutter development dream house. Available
>with or without tummy tuck, facelift, and breast augmentation.
>Workaholic, cheating husband, Ken, comes with a Porsche.
>
>
> Eagleby Barbie:
>
>This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, switchblade, '78
>Holden Ute with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit.
>
>This model is available only after dark and can only be purchased with
>cash - preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know
>what you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken is in jail. Available at
>participating pawn shops.
>
>
>Inala Barbie:
>
>This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with a pair of
>high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased
>Beer-Gut Ken out of Beenleigh Barbie's trailer. Her ensemble includes
>low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip gloss and
a
>see-through halter top.
>
>Purchase her Holden Ute Convertible separately and get Fly Buys points
>absolutely free. Boyfriend Ken is in treatment. Available at any Big W
>Store.
>
>
>Caboolture Barbie:
>
>This tan model comes dressed in her own Levi jeans 2 Sizes too small, a
>"100% Aussie" black T- shirt and the southern cross tattooed on her
>shoulder. She has a six pack of VB and comes with Jimmy Barnes CD's.
>
>She can spit over a distance of 2 metres and kick mullet-haired Ken's
>ass when she is drunk. Also available is the gold-toned cubic zirconium
>ring that Ken gave her after their last big fight. Comes with Barbie's
>Dream fibro house. Available at K-Mart.
>
>
>Morayfield Barbie:
>
>Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with a stroller and bus pass.
>Also included is a 2 litre bottle of Pepsi and a Centrelink cheque.
>
>Construction worker Ken and his '82 Ford ute are optional. Available
>at Target
>
>
> Nimbin Barbie:
>
>This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic and tofu. She has long
>straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no make-up,and
>Birkenstocks with white socks. She does not have, want, or need, a Ken
>doll.
>
>If you purchase the optional combi van, you will receive a free rainbow
>flag sticker. Available all over northern New South Wales .
>

[rhancock]

Lol

[Jack Plane]

Just got an update from my Brisbane contact on more Barbies.

There are two Paddington Barbie's the one's who live west of Tooth Ave - refer Hamilton / New Farm / St Lucia Barbie for some similar attributes.
The East of Tooth Ave Paddington Barbie drives a clapped out Suzuki jeep, lives in a rented workers cottage with five other look alike Barbies. They have a party every weekend but the nearby neighbours never know in advance if it will be a sleepless Friday or Saturday night, listening the the visiting Ken's having a p.ssing or spewing contest, in an effort to impress their Barbie girlfriends. These Barbies are usually studying medicine or law but have not yet embraced the concept of garbage / recycling and rely on neighbours to manage collection and return of their bins. Rusted deck chairs / expired TV's / clothes throw outs or just whatever doesn't fit in their garbage bin are items that have been known to overflow from their recycling bin. The logistics of car parking in narrow one way streets is another concept that they have no awareness of. Each December the Barbies move on and nearby neighbours throw a celebratory party - after they have cleared the footpath debris that Barbie chose not to take.

PS There is also a Wynnum Barbie - these are the 40 year old mothers of Morayfield / Caboolture / Burpengary Barbies.