Young adults at home

[Groggy]

I guess I have that perennial problem for parents, youngster finishes school then doesn't know what to do.

My son has completed VCE and now wants a gap year before going to uni. This is ok with me but I want the gap year to be a realistic one. In line with that, I want him to pay rent & board but have no realistic idea what would be fair.

Does anyone have a child who is working and living at home? What do you do? I was thinking about 20% of his pay - too much?.

Unfortunately SWMBO wants him home free, buy him a car and still give him pocket money....

[womble]

...you're stuffed mate, if the missus gets her way he'll still be there at 30...

make him pay something for board and save for a car, it's the only way he'll learn about the wonders of adulthood with disappearing pay, taxes, lost dreams etc etc etc

[TassieKiwi]

How about a compromise - ask him what his mates are paying for rent/food/bills - have him open a new account and have this agreed amount automatically banked from his pay each week here. This can be the start of a car fund, house - whatever. No withdrawls allowed for 12 months.

[jmk89]

I like TassieKiwi's idea of the nest egg account.

But test the comparison of board with the calculation share of rent + share of bills (gas, electricity, water, foxtel, internet) + share of groceries. So if there are three kids total those and divide by 5 and there's the board (it's what he'd havve to pay if he moved out).

The monthly rent (if you own your house) is market value divided by 240 (gives a 5% retiurn which is about what landlords historically charge). If you wan t to be generous, use market value for the area where students have share houses.

[bitingmidge]

Forget the nest egg, forget the free board.

Under the circumstances it doesn't have to cover your costs, but it has to be more than a token $10, maybe a "meaningful" $50-$75?. This could be accompanied by a rational explanation (but not apology) of what the real cost of keeping him is, taking into account house maintenance, laundry detergent etc!

If a kid is going to appreciate the value of money, they aren't going to gain that appreciation by paying Mum and Dad "board" that turns up as a bonus for them sometime later!

I'll bet SHE didn't pay any board!

P

[Flowboy]

Hi Greg,
I like TK's idea. I think a reward for saving, whatever it is provides a great incentive. Though it may be to stay at home cause you still get all the comforts. Don't forget that the trend now is to stay at home well into one's twenties, so a baseline needs to be established now.
Perhaps you could look around at what share accomodation is worth/week and use that as a guide. Add in what he would have to pay for utilities, food and laundry and you've got an idea of what he would be up for if he decided he wanted to move out. How you set your figure after that is up to you, but it will give all of you (including other sibling) an idea of what's involved in "getting personal space".

Hope this helps

Rob

[silentC]

I lived at home until I was 19. I think my first job (working for my Dad) paid me $150 per week net. I paid $25 per week board.

The parents bought me my first car but I had to pay them back for it. Before that they bought me my first drum kit, which I paid back by working in the sheetmetal works after school folding pier caps at 10 cents a piece. It took me all through Year 11 and 12 to do it

And I still don't appreciate the value of money

[squashedfrog1]

swmbo will be doing him NO favours for the free ride. It teaches him nothing and encourages this all too common attitude that "the world owes him a living" and that it is his "right" to get whatever he wants for nothing.
Paying a decent board and share of expenses teaches him responsibility for his own actions and life and IS your duty as a parent to teach him,
however hard the lesson.

Keep in mind too that in swmbo's mind, no woman will ever be good enuff for her son and (subconciously?) she's creating a man that no decent woman will ever want. A decent woman will want her partner to be financially responsible and definately not "mummy's boy"

While you're at it, lay down some other ground rules,
Do his own washing
Participate in the housework, cooking etc
Running expenses for his car must be his responsibility

I know it sounds hard but what sort of man do you want him to eventually be?

[Grunt]

I thought the whole point of having kids was to get slave labour.

Definitely not going to have any now.

[bitingmidge]

Don't forget that the trend now is to stay at home well into one's twenties, so a baseline needs to be established now.

Easy fix.

We told the kids from day one that we were leaving when the youngest turned 18. Three weeks after that date the "for sale" sign went up.

Two months later, one daughter lived in London, two were flatting together and we were living happily ever after at the beach!

(Don't ask how much SHE spends on petrol visiting them though! )

Cheers,

P

[Stuart]

Get him to do what I did between school and Uni - travelled Europe for 12 months (working in London for 6 months) That gives a very realistic experience wrt money, and self sufficiency and all that, and is still a break between school and uni.

[jmk89]

Get him to do what I did between school and Uni - travelled Europe for 12 months (working in London for 6 months) That gives a very realistic experience wrt money, and self sufficiency and all that, and is still a break between school and uni.

Good idea, so long as he only has his own resources to rely on - don't do what many of my friends have done and allow the child to have access to your credit card (even for emergencies - one girl had the cheek to say that it was an emergency for her to pay for a round of drinks in a bar!! ). If they need more money they should have to ring you and explain why they need more - that will keep them within budget...

[Flowboy]

Easy fix.

We told the kids from day one that we were leaving when the youngest turned 18. Three weeks after that date the "for sale" sign went up.

Two months later, one daughter lived in London, two were flatting together and we were living happily ever after at the beach!

(Don't ask how much SHE spends on petrol visiting them though! )

Cheers,

P

So way cool its heinous, Midge.

[Eddie Jones]

Board??? Ha!

Of course, we had it tough!

Our Dad used to charge us 110% of our weekly wages as board. And if we wanted food that was extra! Forget clothes!

And you try and tell that to the young people of today - They won't believe you!

[Lignum]

To all you tightasses i just hope when your in your 70`s+ and you need looking after your kids take half your pension to do it