What I did on my Holidays.

[Flowboy]

Today, I decided to water up the camels and make the trek to Carba-Tec. I needed some spiral upcuts, a Veritas Router plane and a book on veneering. On my way I had an ongoing issue with the proud owner of a Cheep (sorry Jeep.) It was apparently his right to move to the RHL with indicator when there was one car length in which to fit. First time I let him in and backed off. Second time I did not and despite the fact that there was no traffic behind me, continued to insist, until he finally conceded he could wait. His move from one lane to the other was a blatant suggestion that he would rather have run me off the road.
On arrival at Carbatec, the sales guy went to open the box which contained the router plane to ensure all was there. In the land of sharpened instruments, he used a ruler to open the box. When questioned, he said he'd given his knife away to his Dad.
On the way home, I had the joy of following a meat delivery van. Changed lanes 3 times without signal, pulled up at the lights and flipped a cigarette out the window (this is a food transport vehicle) and after turning into Dandenong Rd, proceeded to split the traffic by changing lanes, again without indicating and proceeding to do so at 95kph. I know cause I was trying to pass him.Y'know how when you are marching and if you get out of step, you can do that shuffle thing and all is fine. Well, I keep shuffling, but nothing changes.

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

I also march to the beat of a different drum.

After days like that I head out to the shed, pick a piece of wood, any piece, break out my tools and get busy. Guaranteed that within 15 minutes I don't care what the wood-deaf idiots outside are doing.

[Clinton1]

Y'know how when you are marching and if you get out of step, you can do that shuffle thing and all is fine. Well, I keep shuffling, but nothing changes.

Be careful, you might find yourself marching in step with a pack of idiots.

[Flowboy]

Thank you guys. You are truly Nature's gentlemen.

Skewy, I did exactly as you suggested and made a box. Used MDF for the model, though it doen't look too much like a box now. Doesn't seem to cope with gentle hammer taps at all well.

Clinton, you are of course precisely correct. I don't want to sail on a ship of fools.

Guess I can sum it up with some Steely Dan (before Donald Fagan emasculated it). This song had the best intro by Jeff (The Skunk) Baxter ever played on a Tele.

"I've spent a lot of money and I've spent a lot of time,
The trip we made to Hollywood is etched upon my mind,
After all the thigs we've done and seen you find another man,
The things you think are useless I don't understand."

Regards

A therapeutically enhanced Rob

[Iain]

His move from one lane to the other was a blatant suggestion that he would rather have run me off the road.

I have similar issues with little Hyundais, Festivas etc, usually sporting "P" plates and driven by brain dead text messaging blondes, I am of the opinion that I have discovered the means of making my 2.25 tonne Landcruiser with 3 tonne loaded horse float (also just over 4 metres long and about 3 high) invisible.
I can stop quickly with this load but the mules are not happy and the bimbo's appear oblivious to what they are encountering or risking.
A drive along Mahoneys Rd in Thomastown is worse, thankfully I don't go over there much.

[namtrak]

I have similar issues with little Hyundais, Festivas etc, usually sporting "P" plates and driven by brain dead text messaging blondes, ..........

Give me the Bimbos any day of the week, I would much rather be dealing with one of these scooting along at about 80 in a 100k zone, than a squareheaded bogan driving his 'new' Vk Commodore at 80 in a 50k zone. It's got to the point where everytime my 7yo hears someone skid or do a burnout she tells everyone theres another P plater!!

[Iain]

See my last sentence, pretty much sums it up

[silentC]

Anyone ever towed a caravan? I did last week for the first time in my life - you know things are hopeless when you go on your first caravan holiday...

Anyway, you see some amazing things as people desperate to cut 5 minutes off their trip try to get past you.

As for what's worse, bimbos in Hyundais or bogans in Commodores, my vote goes to truck drivers any day of the week.

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

Anyone ever towed a caravan? I did last week for the first time in my life - you know things are hopeless when you go on your first caravan holiday...

Oh, yeah. I had a 27 footer I used to tow behind a V8 HK wagon. Lovely piece of kit until the day I pulled out of a side street to cross the highway a bit quickly (peak hour and trying to make it through in what little gap I had) ...and the transmission dumped it's guts at exactly the right moment to block all 3 lanes on one side.

Anyway, you see some amazing things as people desperate to cut 5 minutes off their trip try to get past you.

Damned right! I was stuck there for about 15 mins, traffic banking up for miles and not one person offered to help as I was frantically unhitching the 'van and trying to push it back up the bloody hill all by my lonesome. Help? Well, maybe some did, in their own inimitable style. Some sat their honking their horns (I think they were trying to frighten it off the road like a stray horse. ) while others yelled all sorts of useful advice as they swerved around either side, going over the nature & dividing strips. Useful advice like "Get that %^#$ing thing off the road, you %^#$ing #^&$!"

Sheesh! Now why didn't I think of that?

As for what's worse, bimbos in Hyundais or bogans in Commodores, my vote goes to truck drivers any day of the week.

Oddly, it was a truckie & his jockey who finally helped me out... just in time for Mr. Plod to pull up and give me a bloody great lecture. "Yes Ossifer, I know it was a bad place to break down. No Ossifer, I don't plan on doing it again."

Typical country boyo... too late to be of any use and full of useless advice.

[Chesand]

Many years ago I broke down at a busy intersection. While trying to restart my car those behind started madly tooting so I promptly got out and loudly and politely suggested that if they liked I would sit in their cars and toot while they started my car. A strange silence followed