I Really Cracked It Last Night!

[bsrlee]

Interestingly this just got a write-up in MX (freebie commuter paper in Sydney) today (29/11). Seems all the negative media attention about males is creating a generation of rapist/thugs as that is the only 'male image' that is being allowed thru' the media.

[meerkat]

I'm impressed with the responses to this, IMO most if not all responses have been balanced and we certainly haven't gone rayc either

Guys the way I see it is that whilst we (as parents) must remain vigilent (and I have no problem with that) we as males need to move past this "couldn't be stuffed" stance to lets do more to improve our lot, whether it be in health, as fathers or just as men.

If we don't do it for us we need to do it for our kids (boys & girls) so that they can do the right thing when it's their turn. Isn't that what good parenting is about ?

[namtrak]

As an anglo saxon middle aged male in Australia I feel I belong to the one of the more privileged cliques on the planet.

Can I walk across a car park at night without scoping for dangerous dark areas, interlopers, people in parked cars? Yes

Can I go into a public toilet and not think twice or have an older person guarding the door? Yes

Can I wander the streets of Cronulla or Lakemba! without fear? Yes

Am I worried that the State will knock my door down and drag me away in the middle of the night never to be seen again? No

Do I keep a wary eye on my partner, worried that they could punch into me or my kids anytime without warning? No

Do I have to go out on the turps with someone else to watch my back/bag/drink all night? No

Can I get credit/mortgage with little to zero drama? Yes

Do I have people constantly passing judgement on what I wear? No

Do I have people constantly passing judgement on how I speak? No

Do I have much patience for other men in my position who squark about how the squeaky wheel gets the oil, or how fascist interest groups are creating neo-political agendas, or how hard done by they are? Not really.

Am I off that some men in my position have abused, raped, beaten, taken advantage of, ripped off, assualted those that are weaker than them? You bloody well bet I am!! Do I say anything? Every single time.

Cheers

[silentC]

Can I wander the streets of ... Lakemba! without fear? Yes

Umm, you might want to rethink that one mate

[Rossluck]

I suppose when I am places like changerooms with my kids and I am waiting outside the changeroom I make a bit of a show of being there with them. Yep there is a bit of anti male sentiment out and about but you can't do much about that. You just have to try and makesure you don't end up being a victim of it.

My kids are noisy enough so we make enough noise, I say you go in there and I'll wait out here. If they take time I call through the door to hurry up they give me lip back I threaten to think up some punishment for them it's all good fun but everyone else thinks I am just being a good Dad.

The media doesn't report females sexually mollesting children much because it isn't allowed by the various feminist lobbies.

I notice too that women can nag harass scold scorn a man until he is past his wit's end but if he even raises his voice he has offended her rights. In the past if a woman behaved so badly she got a smack in the chops to put her in her place. Today a man is permitted no defence. GAWD I even had the ex SWMBO pursue me out to the shed when I was only trying to escape from her harassing attack. A piece of hardwood about 2 foot long and inch and half square fell to the floor and I picked it up she was still in my face and hysterical and only because she was stressed with an exam that week. Nothing I had done she was inventing it as she went along and digging herself and her perception of me deeper and deeper and I was holding that piece of timber and thinking it would be just so easy to belt her until she died and it would be just what she deserved. Rest easy guys I put the timber back on the shelf and stepped away from her. But this feminist thing of all rights and no responsibilities is a cancer.

Studley

I was thinking about this post as I worked today, and I want to join Keith in congratulating Studley on his honesty and ... bravery.

I often said to friends and family when I was going through a separation and a divorce: being a middle aged male immediately makes you eighty percent guilty of everything.

[Bleedin Thumb]

Good thread this,
We middle aged males are expressing our feelings! !!!

And I think that may be a part of the problem.
Our parents didn't. How many of our fathers would shake our hands at night as we went to bed! Emotions were for sheila's.
You cant blame them, they also got brought up by males who were emotional cripples.

So now we have a generation of guys that want to be relevant in the family and society but were facing a judgmental society that has been enamoured by negative stereotypes.
If this forum is a snapshot of Australian males we may be finding our voice and that will be a good thing for my boys at least.

In the meantime I just keep my head down and get on with being me.

[ozwinner]

How many of our fathers would shake our hands at night as we went to bed! .

:eek: Gees you were privalegd to get that even..

Al :eek:

[ernknot]

I appreciate all the comments and think that this turned out to be a very constructive thread. I most certainly have no problenm with parents and guardians/ carers being ever watchfull and commend them for doing so. I just had to get this male bashing off my chest and find out how others felt about the subject. I feel better now knowing that others share my view to some extent.

[silentC]

I've got a fat lip this morning.

I bent down to give my son a kiss on the head as I left for work and just as I did he jumped up and nutted me! That's my boy!!

[namtrak]

Reminds me of the time about 25 years ago when my little brother (I think he was about 3yo) was wandering around the house with a steel curtain rod. The rod was about 6 foot long and he was holding it straight up in the air. He wandered into the bedroom where the old man was having a snooze, and walked up to the foot of the bed and promptly let the end of the rod drop straight onto the old man's nose!!! All I heard him say to mum was (muttered I might add) "Get that kid out of here". My little brother is still alive today, so mum must have got him far enough away!!!

[Bleedin Thumb]

:eek: Gees you were privalegd to get that even..

Al :eek:

Al it sounds like the start to the 4 Yorkshiremen.

Handshake....luxury, all we got is smack around head with broken bottle.

[Eddie Jones]

.....You can't just expect to be trusted as a stranger by every mother ( and father ) because you know that you don't have a problem.
You are not being judged by society because you are male, you are being judged because you are a stranger and its a scary world full of sick people.

What about childhood abuse from females? Doesn't happen? Yet females (generally) are not treated with suspicion around children. Why not? According to your logic they should be (judged because you are a stranger). What about the female stranger seated next to the unaccompanied child on the Qanta flight? Has the airline checked if she is a known child molester? I think not. And if they did they would suffer the venom of every "wimmins" group in the country. Get real!

[Bleedin Thumb]

Yes Eddie, you have a point, in some cases things have become stupid aka the Quantas thing.
I think that woman are more relaxed about other women near their kids ( and I am guessing because I would have the foggiest how women think!):confused: because

1. Abuse by females is either less reported or is less common, I don't know which?

2. Some sort of wierd maternal bond with other women once they have had a child. Sounds weird but I bet there is something in it.

3. Women are naturally less uptight around other women than they are around men.

Men on the other hand are uncomfortable around other men and around women unless we have got to know them. Probably why some of us can discuss personal feeling via the faceless BB.

[namtrak]

What about childhood abuse from females? Doesn't happen? Yet females (generally) are not treated with suspicion around children. Why not?.......

That would be because between 85% to 95% of all abuse is perpertrated by males. Doesn't take much research on the net to figure that out.

None of the nuns in the Catholic Church around Chicago were found guilty of sexual abuse charges emanating from that infamous enclave.

Ask yourself this. Who would you rather have look after your 10 yo child on a school camp. A male monsignor or a female teachers aide?

[meerkat]

Namtrak, with all due respect, I think you need to review some of your questions.

For one I don't feel safe walking streets at night or even getting public transport. How many men have been beaten or killed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I was in Sydney earlier this year walking back to the casino from darling harbour with my wife and got harassed by a group of young men, they even threw stuff at us. And you tell me I am safe !!

Whilst we are better off than many, it does not justify the ill treatment we do get.

Just because a small minority perpertrate horendous crimes doesn't mean we are all the same. To label every male an abuser because some small section do is wrong. Thats the same as labelling all muslims terrorists just because a minority are. Is that wrong. YES

Like labelling all judges as crooks because one happens to be one. Is that wrong. YES.

Like labelling all pollies as ...... oh that doesn't work

Whats next, just because my neighbour got caught speeding I'm not allowed to drive, or the guy at the pub got drunk and beat his wife you are a wife beater ?

Clearly not.

I believe what people are really saying here is that yes, be careful, be vigilent, protect those that are vulnerable BUT that does not mean create a new section in society to blame, pick on, accuse, suspect, denegrate, harass or just plain victimise.

This is what many men are feeling, that we are becoming just that. A group in society that it is acceptable to pick on because they don't have a voice.

Take a look in the US, the new acceptable group to pick on are the "trailer trash" it's ok why because they don't have a voice like the others. Once they get a voice, it will shift to another group.

What is needed is a voice, a voice for everyone, a place that everyone can feel safe, loved and respected.

Yes we are lucky but that doesn't mean theres nothing wrong, but until men stand up and say something it's only going to get worse and what will that be like for our kids and grandkids.