Update on the road rules

[chrisp]

It's sometime since I did my drivers license test and it seems that some of the road rules have changed. For the benefit and safety of all I have complied a list of the rule changes I have observed on the road:

Photon Blaster Rule
Driving with your headlights on high-beam during the day. This is to warn other road users that the driver is on an urgent matter and needs to drive in a great hurry. Other road users are required to yield to Photon Blasters.

One Headlight Rule
Not to be confused with the above - this occurs during night-time driving. The road rule is to permit cars with one faulty headlight to use the remaining headlight on high beam to compensate for the loss of light output from the faulty unit.

Baby on Board Rule
Ever wondered about those "Baby on Board" signs? They are warning signs that the driver has a baby in the car. This is to alert you to:

• The driver is probably a sleep deprived parent
• Has a screaming baby distracting them
• Busy trying to pacify a baby and drive at the same time

It is best to keep a safe distance from these cars.

Energy Saving Rule
In the interests of energy conservation, the energy conscious driver can choose to minimise the use of turn indicators when changing lanes. It seems that the preferred protocol is to issue one single blink of the indicators when the vehicle is exactly half-way through the lane-change maneuver. This should also be down as close as possible to the car already in that lane to ensure that that vehicle can benefit from the "slipstream" of your car, thus sharing the energy savings with fellow road users.

Wheel of Fortune
This is not a rule but a new game based upon "Wheel of Fortune" for road users. Many kind souls have purchased personalised number plates, but just like the real "Wheel of Fortune" game, it seems that vowels are either hard to come by or are more expensive than consonants. Typically personalised number plates are therefore devoid of vowels. The aim of the game is to guess as many words as possible that can be made by adding vowels to the consonants on number plate.

Multitasking
Again, this is not a new road rule but rather an observation. The world has become a very busy place and "multitasking" is in vogue. This is why the number of cup holders is an important specification in the new car brochures and reviews. As part of this new way of working, many individuals have become highly skilled at driving and using mobile phones at the same time. These highly skilled individuals can maintain exact lane position, maintain exact road speed and remain ever alert for changing traffic conditions while talking on the phone. They are also a bit like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny - no one has actually seen one yet.

[Bob38S]

Please add

1. The lines on the road are simply for decoration.

2[a]. Green = Go.

2[b]. Yellow = Go like hell.

2[c]. Red = The bloke behind you has to stop.

[Bluegum]

The energy saving rule is alive and well round here in town. Just gotta watch em on the roundabouts.