When Do You Become An Old Phart?

[ozwinner]

When you are over 50 and you fart.

50 what?
Inches, mm's, kilograms, stone, pounds?

Al :confused:

[Wongo]

50 what?
Inches, mm's, kilograms, stone, pounds?

Al :confused:

Old fart.

[Zed]

when you stop lighting them and you stop thinking its funny...

[Wizened of Oz]

When you've known a succession of 3 buildings on the one site.
When your doctor is younger than your sons.
When your get-up-and-go has got up and gone.
When your back goes out more often than you do.
When the things you used in your teens are seen in museums.

[DavidG]

When the things you used in your teens are seen in museums.

That is the least funny one. Too true.

[namtrak]

Timely question..... I refuse to go gracefully!!!! We're going along to a Little Birdy concert this weekend, and are booked in to go see the Hilltop Hoods, John Butler Trio, You am I etc at the Groovin the Moo concert at the end of the month. (I'm actually forcing the kids to go, so I don't look like some old deviant). I went to the last Groovin the Moo in Narrendera and not only saw Grinspoon, Spiderbait etc also ran into a bunch of my old mates who are all fighting the fight as well. It was excellent (apart from the time the bunch of weakling 15 yo's dropped the 100kg+ fattie onto his #### when he went crowdsurfing over the top of the moshpit )

[Felder]

It was excellent (apart from the time the bunch of weakling 15 yo's dropped the 100kg+ fattie onto his #### when he went crowdsurfing over the top of the moshpit )

[Bob38S]

When you start a sentence with

When I was your age.....

In the good old days we .....

I can remember when .....

Do you remember when ..... Nah it would have been before your time .....

or

the first page you look at in the paper is the Dispatched, Matched and Hatched [in that order....]

When you can't remember what it was you were going to type next.....................

[TTIT]

when you stop lighting them and you stop thinking its funny...

...or when you're just too damned scared to light them anymore!!!:eek:

[Driver]

I reckon it's when you drop into the opticians because you need them to repair your glasses (the earpiece came off in me hand, honest!), wearing your very best shed gear: old paint and glue-stained tee shirt and really daggy old shorts plus thick woolly socks and knackered trainers. It helps if you have recently severely sprained your ankle while playing golf and are therefore relying heavily on a walking stick. Oh, and I failed to mention that the broken glasses have necessitated your wearing an old pair of wire-framed jobbies on which the gold plating has come away in large lumps, giving them an interesting mottled effect.

The smart young lady behind the counter will leave you in no doubt as to your status as an ancient flatulator because she will take in your appearance with an all-encompassing glance and proceed to patronise the sheet out of you by speaking slowly and loudly and sprinkling her part of the conversation with little gems like: 'young sir' and 'dear' and 'will you remember that, Colin?'.

However, when you return several days later to collect the repaired gig-lamps, parking your high-powered European sports sedan within sight of the optician's front counter, dressed in your best smart casual kit and looking particularly crisp (think David Niven, foreshortened and minus the lounge-lizard moustache), walking without either a limp or a walking stick - she will fail to patronise you; instead addressing you as 'Mr..." and 'sir' and giving you the impression that you're not an old fart at all.

(But don't let this lull you into a false sense of security. Old fartiness has buggerall to do with appearances. It has to do with your grumpiness quotient and how frequently you find it necessary to comment loudly upon the content of television, newspapers, magazines and other aspects of daily life - including patronising shop assistants).

Col

[pitbull]

When you are over 50 and you fart.

that's me for definate

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

When you look around and realise that young pharts aren't as smart as they used to be when you were a kid, but that's OK 'cos the auld pharts aren't as stupid, either...

[namtrak]

.......a Little Birdy concert this weekend........

OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW my ears are bleeding!!!!!!!!

[echnidna]

After watching the abc 50years it dawned on me,

yer definately an old phart if yer can remember life before TV

or

yer remember standing in the crowd outside the window of a shop selling new B&W tv's :eek:

[Daddles]

I don't know when I became an 'auld phart' but I do know when I began to aspire to that state - it was the night when Meldrew from 'One Foot In The Grave' became my role model :eek:

Richard
I'm serious too :eek: