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30th September 2006, 03:57 PM #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2004
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- 58
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- 86
20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
20 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day at work.
14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity . . . post this list somewhere to make them smile and laugh. Its called THERAPY!
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30th September 2006, 04:14 PM #2
Top of the list should be
GET MARRIED!!!!!!
PeteIf you are never in over your head how do you know how tall you are?
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30th September 2006, 07:34 PM #3
#10 Done that.
Also when at the checkout in a supermarket ask the checkout 'person' if they take cash, gets some fabulous looksStupidity kills. Absolute stupidity kills absolutely.
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30th September 2006, 09:20 PM #41. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
Is there anything easier done than said?- Stacky. The bottom pub, Cobram.
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30th September 2006, 09:21 PM #5
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1st October 2006, 02:11 PM #6
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1st October 2006, 04:13 PM #7You've got to risk it to get the biscuit
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1st October 2006, 05:35 PM #8SENIOR MEMBER
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- Apr 2005
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5th October 2006, 12:08 PM #9GOLD MEMBER
- Join Date
- Aug 2005
- Location
- Queensland
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- 613
Next time at Domino's or Pizza Hut or your fav store....
Tell the Pizza cutter person that you want the pizza cut into 6 pieces instead of the usual 8 as you don't think you can eat 8 pieces.
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5th October 2006, 12:46 PM #10
Or going to Maccas or KFC and asking for half a dozen nuggets instead of 6. I bought a chicken fillet burger from KFC a week ago. I got it home to discover that they had forgotton to put the the chicken on it.
Dave,
hug the tree before you start the chainsaw.
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6th October 2006, 02:03 AM #11
Must be full moon, keep em coming they're good.
If you can do it - Do it! If you can't do it - Try it!
Do both well!
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