20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

[Guy]

20 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day at work.
14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity . . . post this list somewhere to make them smile and laugh. Its called THERAPY!

[Doughboy]

Top of the list should be


GET MARRIED!!!!!!

Pete

[Iain]

#10 Done that.
Also when at the checkout in a supermarket ask the checkout 'person' if they take cash, gets some fabulous looks

[DanP]

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

[Auzzie turner]

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

think i might try that

[AlexS]

Dan, since #1 doesn't apply to you, you are allowed to sit in the bath and dry your hair with your radar gun.

[ss_11000]

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face.

and ask for a large coke in a small cup .....

[pawnhead]

#10 Done that.
Also when at the checkout in a supermarket ask the checkout 'person' if they take cash, gets some fabulous looks

And if they ask you "Do you want a bag?", just say "No thanks, I've got one at home and that's one too many".
On similar lines, if you're getting money from a teller and they ask you "How would you like that", you say "Money".

[Bob38S]

Next time at Domino's or Pizza Hut or your fav store....
Tell the Pizza cutter person that you want the pizza cut into 6 pieces instead of the usual 8 as you don't think you can eat 8 pieces.

[Bluegum]

Or going to Maccas or KFC and asking for half a dozen nuggets instead of 6. I bought a chicken fillet burger from KFC a week ago. I got it home to discover that they had forgotton to put the the chicken on it.

[ernknot]

Must be full moon, keep em coming they're good.