Great Chimp-tation; Special "Code of Practice" edition

[Zed]

What is the length of the extension cord and what is its function ?

Is it permissable to use an expensive jap chisel to open a paint tin ?

How many seats should be provided in the shed ?

If I was to take the last beer would I also be entitled to the last slice of pizza ?

How many old chlorine buckets should there be in the shed ?

What is the upper limit on clamps in the shed ?

Define a "chap like" drink.

Define the three prime purposes of a cobweb.

If I have a bottle opener but dont have a corkscrew, is my inventory complete ?

What happens to visiting stubby holders upon entering the shed ?

Can I use a picture of the lead singer from <insert your favourite "girl band" here> as a target ?

I have an old pre world war 1 stanley chisel, I aslo have an old pre world war 1 wooden handplane. Does this constitute a collection ?

[Cliff Rogers]

What is the length of the extension cord and what is its function ? Too short

Is it permissable to use an expensive jap chisel to open a paint tin ? Yeap, its yours

How many seats should be provided in the shed ? One

If I was to take the last beer would I also be entitled to the last slice of pizza ? No

How many old chlorine buckets should there be in the shed ? As many as you can find.

What is the upper limit on clamps in the shed ? You can't have too many.

Define a "chap like" drink. Anything that is not a bloke like drink that a bloke might like to try or have to drink 'cos he is crook.

Define the three prime purposes of a cobweb. Hold the dust in place, discourage sheilas, decoration to give it the 'lived in' look.

If I have a bottle opener but dont have a corkscrew, is my inventory complete ? Nope

What happens to visiting stubby holders upon entering the shed ? They join that shed's collection.

Can I use a picture of the lead singer from <insert your favourite "girl band" here> as a target ? Not actually mentioned in the code but it is your shed so, yes.

I have an old pre world war 1 stanley chisel, I aslo have an old pre world war 1 wooden handplane. Does this constitute a collection ? Yes.

[Driver]

It would be unethical of me to participate in this quiz as a contestant, for obvious reasons. However, I am prepared to offer my services as a member of the judging panel in any cases of dispute, interpretation or arbitration.

Col the Arbitrary.

[craigb]

100% right for Cliff I reckon.

[Grunt]

You forgot:

Is it permissible to have curtains on the windows?

[Wongo]

"Is it possible to have too much rice?"

[Wongo]

If God wants us to be vegetarians then why did he create animals and fire?

[Bodgy]

Without cheating, I'm a bit anarchic anyway:

What is the length of the extension cord and what is its function ?
About 100 metres, generally to avoid paying a sparky to put in power points in the shed

Is it permissable to use an expensive jap chisel to open a paint tin ?
Never, even apes must have some standards

How many seats should be provided in the shed ?
One for owner, excess only encourages sheilas

If I was to take the last beer would I also be entitled to the last slice of pizza ?
Nope, some fat bastard's already got it.
How many old chlorine buckets should there be in the shed ?
Optional, particularly if you don't have a pool.

What is the upper limit on clamps in the shed ?
Infinite, but seldom sufficient

Define a "chap like" drink.
Single malt Scotch, never with ice.

Define the three prime purposes of a cobweb.
To stop bleeding when you cut yourself, again
To show if the DC's working
To get the mossies

If I have a bottle opener but dont have a corkscrew, is my inventory complete ?
Yep, just snap the neck off the red

What happens to visiting stubby holders upon entering the shed ?
They get filled with a beer, but never VB (or KB)

Can I use a picture of the lead singer from <insert your favourite "girl band" here> as a target ?
Target for what, lets not go there

I have an old pre world war 1 stanley chisel, I aslo have an old pre world war 1 wooden handplane. Does this constitute a collection ?
Nope, just random happenstance, give them to someone who would appreciate them

[Zed]

What is the length of the extension cord and what is its function ? 30 m, hang on a nail

Is it permissable to use an expensive jap chisel to open a paint tin ? only if its yours

How many seats should be provided in the shed ? one

If I was to take the last beer would I also be entitled to the last slice of pizza ? no

How many old chlorine buckets should there be in the shed ? one for each machine at least.

What is the upper limit on clamps in the shed ? wot cliff said

Define a "chap like" drink. wot cliff said

Define the three prime purposes of a cobweb. wot cliff said

If I have a bottle opener but dont have a corkscrew, is my inventory complete ? wot cliff said

What happens to visiting stubby holders upon entering the shed ? wot cliff said

Can I use a picture of the lead singer from <insert your favourite "girl band" here> as a target ? wot cliff said

I have an old pre world war 1 stanley chisel, I aslo have an old pre world war 1 wooden handplane. Does this constitute a collection ? technically no unless stated collection is "pre WW1 items".

[toddles]

You forgot:

Is it permissible to have curtains on the windows?

Only if they're actually cheap blue tarps.

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

What about the ones my 8-legged boarders knitted so patiently in the windows? I'm sure the code says they're permissible too...

I have an old pre world war 1 stanley chisel, I aslo have an old pre world war 1 wooden handplane. Does this constitute a collection ?
Nope, just random happenstance, give them to someone who would appreciate them

I have to disagree here. This is the start of a small collection of future collection starters... Sheesh! Next you'll be telling me the sawdust on my floor isn't a timber collection! In my shed I decide what's a collection or not.