At dawn the telephone rings. "Hello, Señor Humphrey? This is Ernesto, the
caretaker at your country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, sir, that your parrot died."
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the international competition?"
"Sí, that's the one."
"Darn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die
from?"
"From eating 'la carne putrificada.'"
"Rotten meat? Who fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, senor. He ate the meat of the 'caballo muerto.'"
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Mr. Lucky."
"Mr. Lucky! My horse that won the Preakness a few years back?"
"Sí."
"How did he die?"
"He died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the 'incendio.'"
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your 'hacienda'! A candle fell, and the curtains caught on fire."
"What!!! But there's electricity at the house!!!! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral."
"FUNERAL? WHAT FUNERAL?!"
"Your mother's. She showed up one night out of the blue, and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike Driver."
*SILENCE*
"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're fired!"