The Lone Ranger is out in the badlands , riding Silver. Just for a change, he and Silver are alone (Tonto is taking long service leave). They run into a spot of bother with some renegade Apaches down south of El Paso and they are captured.

The Apaches take the Lone Ranger back to their camp and stake him out on the ground, preparatory to setting fire to his wedding tackle and cutting off various bits of his person.

“Wait!” he says. “Doesn’t the condemned man get a last request?”

“Bollocks! Slice him up! Fire up his knackers!” from the unruly crowd.

“Hold on!” says Geronimo (for he is the leader of this particular mob). “He’s got a point. What d’you want?” he says to the masked man. (Can’t imagine why the Apaches would leave his mask on but there you go).

“Let me talk to my horse. He’ll be able to bring my last request.”

“You really are very odd, aren’t you?” says Geronimo. “You ride round in that slightly baggy spandex suit with a mask on and you talk to your bloody horse. No wonder they call you the Lone Ranger”.

Anyway, he leads Silver over to where Kemo Sabay is stretched out on the ground. The horse leans his head down and the Lone Ranger whispers in his ear. Silver nods his head and whinnies. Then he rears up and gallops away.

“Now what?” says Geronimo.

“He’ll be back soon with my last request”.

The Apaches settle down to wait. They lounge around, sharpening their arrows and knives, farting and passing insulting comments about the Lone Ranger. An hour goes by. Suddenly they hear the distinctive sound of a horse’s hooves. Into the camp trots Silver. Sitting sidesaddle on his back is a very shapely blonde. She dismounts, strips off - to the accompaniment of some appreciative wolf whistles from the Apaches -walks over to the Lone Ranger and sits on his face.

“Good choice for a last request!” says Geronimo. “Maybe you’re not so odd after all!”

When the young lady has finished, the Lone Ranger, a bit red in the face from his exertions, whistles for Silver. The big horse trots up to his master and leans his head down again.

The Lone Ranger takes a deep breath and yells:

“I said POSSE! You deaf bastard! POSSE!”