Kiddie's Sayings

[Carry Pine]

Why We Love Children !fficeffice" />>>
> 1) NUDITY
> I was driving with my three young children one warm summer
> evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.
> She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my
> 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a
> seat belt!"
>
> 2) OPINIONS
> On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note
> from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by
> this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
>
> 3) KETCHUP
> A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.
> During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter
> to answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right
> now. She's hitting the bottle."
>
> 4) MORE NUDITY
> A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
> locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with
> ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched
> in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a
> little boy before?"
>
> 5) POLICE # 1
> While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school,
> I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up
> and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered
> and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help
> I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told
> her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would
> you please tie my shoe?"
>
> 6) POLICE # 2
> It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front
> of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake,
> was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me "Is that a dog you
> got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy
> looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said,
> "What'd he do?"
>
> 7) ELDERLY
> While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
> shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
> She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old
> age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I
> found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I
> braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned
> and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
>
> 8) DRESS-UP
> A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When
> she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't
> wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives
> you a headache the next morning. "
>
> 9) DEATH
> While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church,
> our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar
> wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a
> dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had
> secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready
> for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say
> the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version
> of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaather,
> and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes."
>
> 10) SCHOOL
> A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm
> just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't
> write and they won't let me talk!"
>
> 11) BIBLE
> A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he
> fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the
> Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an
> old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I
> found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With
> astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's
> Adam's underwear."
>

[Carry Pine]

I have just been sent the pictures of the World Cup Soccer Mascots (girl-type). I will post it if requested.
Carry Pine

[jmk89]

Ok Carry, I'll be the patsy - post 'em

[Carry Pine]

Ok Carry, I'll be the patsy - post 'em

If I get reddies again for offending people you are getting them passed on to you!

[RETIRED]

Put it in Open Slather. Easy fix

[Carry Pine]

Put it in Open Slather. Easy fix

It's little slide show. is there a way to download it onto the forum. I think you can only post pictures.
Carry Pine

[Carry Pine]

OK, here's a taste...

[RETIRED]

It's little slide show. is there a way to download it onto the forum. I think you can only post pictures.
Carry Pine

You may be able to put up a URL for a download.

[Christopha]

Strewth Carry, how the hell can you post that picture without linking it to a poll on which is the neatest package?????

[Auld Bassoon]

OK, here's a taste...

All Hail Gluteus Maximus

[Iain]

No sign of Incontinentious Buttocks though, Mr Biggus