Story time with uncle Dave

[Neo]

point with any accuracy, which resulted in grief at the local sandwich bar when he tried to point at the fillings he wanted. He was so terribly upset at having to pay for a cucumber, beansprout and grated carrot on rye when he really wanted a roastbeef roll that he .......

[macca2]

scoff down with a couple of beers to fortify himself for the upcoming encounter with the aformentioned young ladies where he hoped to...................

[JackoH]

...inveigle them back to his shed. There to engage in an exciting game of "hunt the didget" amongst the shavings and sawdust.
To be followed , after several beers, by an even more exciting game of "hide the sausage" Thus killing two birds with one stone so to speak. ( If he didn't find one he would hopefully lose the other!).
But unfortunately the......

[Neo]

young ladies were 2 pot screamers and, after sharing a bottle of dodgy plonk while he polished off a couple of refreshing Tooheys long necks, they became ..................

[craigb]

absolutely rats arsed and fell asleep amid the shavings, so our hero was reduced to ..

[macca2]

watching the AFL grand final on the idiot box where he saw Brisbane.......................

[craigb]

Do to Collingwood what he wanted to do to the two lovelies.
Then after the ganme he .........................

[fxst]

was too drunk to care and they walked out in disgust into......................

[craigb]

the highly strung Mrs Lawrence Longrpong, who wasn't best pleased to see her Lawrence emerge from his shed with two obviously hung over nymphetes who from there appearance had been rolling around in sawdust.

Lawrie! cried Candida (for that was the good ladies name) I thought you'd gone to the shed to dovetail a box and now I find that ..............

[fxst]

you boxed 2 doves you horrible little man now I will......................

[DaveInOz]

... forced to divorce you. I want the shed, you get the kids.

Lawrie reeled, his befuddled mind trying to come to grips with the fact he was about to loose his shed .. and his tools ...., oh , and his wife.

[silentC]

But suddenly pulling him self together, Lawrie, or Lollies as he was known to those of his school mates who were still alive, had a brillant idea, a cunning plan that could not fail. He replied...

[macca2]

take the lot...for whatever good that will do you, it is the time of year when good little boys like me talk to Santa and get all the goodies we want, including.............



macca

[craigb]

seven maids a milking ....

[vcohen]

.....who are on annual leave from their dairying duties, and would much prefer to be .............