Gems from dear old Groucho - post 'em here

[Daddles]

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." -- Groucho Marx

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

"Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others."

[bitingmidge]

"You're only as old as the woman you feel"

[Driver]

"Would I be Groucho Marx? Sure. Who would you be, lady? Jean Harlow, no doubt. Well, give it up. You'll never make it!"

[zenwood]

My sig.

They're all great. How about this, made me lol just now:

"I married your mother because I wanted children. Imagine my disappointment when you arrived." Horse Feathers (1932)

[CameronPotter]

About clubs - or maybe - forums?
"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."

Obviously about the "easy" instructions on how to put a tool together.
"A child of five could understand this... Fetch me a child of five."

About threads such as this.
"Quote me as saying I was misquoted."

and of course to end my post, his last words.
"Die my dear, why that's the last thing I'll do..."

[jmk89]

One attributed to GM that I couldn't see in Zenwood's list -

On his death bed, GM was asked by astonished friends why he, a long-standing atheist, was reading the Bible. GM replied:

"Looking for loopholes"

[AlexS]

One attributed to GM that I couldn't see in Zenwood's list -

On his death bed, GM was asked by astonished friends why he, a long-standing atheist, was reading the Bible. GM replied:

"Looking for loopholes"

Thought he was studying for his finals.

[Gumby]

From the final scene of the best movie they made, Duck soup....

When they were defending the command post from enemy fire.

"Gentlemen, we're fighting for this woman's honour, which is more than she ever did"

and calling for help on the radio

"Three men and one woman are trapped under heavy enemy fire, send help immediately. If you can't send help, send two more women"



They might not be word perfect, just off the top of my head but you get the drift. There'll never be another one like him.

I've spent a bit of time converting all my old Marx bros video tapes to DVD. My kids watched them from the time they were youngsters and still do now, at 20+. They loved Go West and burning the train...timber !

[Jack Plane]

"Women should be obscene and not heard"

[Iain]

I remember when he hosted a games show in the 50's, contestant came on and stated that he had 12 (or similar number) children, Groucho pondered for a moment, took out his cigar, and said, I like a cigar but I do take it out occassionally.
I think that show was banned in the US.