Rant from a workplace counsellor

[CameronPotter]

Hey Clinton,

Sorry if my post seemed liked it was aimed at you. I actually read all your posts and thought that it was fine, reasonable and simply an observation. However, there were some other posts that were simply saying - "YEAH".

I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of the whingers did come from uni. but that doesn't mean that it is exclusively that way, nor does it mean that you can be cruel/callous about it (and again, you weren't the problem).

As for your last post - I reckon we are now getting closer to the problem (other than the engineers being the problem! )

The best form of counselling is simply blowing off steam with mates, IMO.

Too right. That, or your girlfriend or family or whatever... I feel really sorry for people who need to go outside this group for support. It either means there is something wrong with the group of people who are closest to them, that group doesn't exist or there is some MASSIVE problem (like the ones you mentioned earlier). However, some people choose to go outside the group as the first option, which is both silly and sad to me.

As for your comment on teamwork, I reckon that the reason that it is often weak is that it is "taught" not learned. Young people do teamwork exercises from very young these days, but they are all artificial...

A lot of the whingers have social lives, but not too many meaningful relationships. Thats one of the reasons that they focus so much on their work relationships... and the things that happen at work, that I wouldn't think twice about, cut them to the bone.

I think that this is probably EXACTLY the problem. At uni, you develop ties with the people you are around and they can become your dominating social network. Thus, when they go to work, they may carry this same thing forward. Thus, when someone you feel is one of your closest friends obviously doesn't think the same about you, well that could be pretty hurtful. Maybe you can blame homework for that. You go home from uni and have to do more work rather than relax with your mates. That being said - it is sensible to MAKE time for your mates. Also, I know some slackers at uni. don't work all that hard - but don't get me started on that. However, I suppose the problem still comes down to the fact that some people aren't willing to take responsibility - which is pretty weak.

Finally, the comment about being an individual and choosing to behave like XXX is something that I have seen altogether too much. Some of my friends are like this e.g. I listen to independent music because I don't like the stuff turned out by the established companies, thus I rebel, like all of these people...

A bit silly, but I guess that is what growing up and finding out about yourself is all about. I am sure that every generation has the same comments aimed at them as they experiment (usually as a group). Still, I reckon it is pretty to to conform to a unconfromist attitude.

Cheers

Cam

ps I can sure prattle on...

[CameronPotter]

I wasn't counting the engineers. We all know we're different and superior, and don't need to be told.

Maybe there are tossers everywhere, and some of them went to uni?

Oh, and us Tasmanian engineers are obviously better again aren't we?

[JDarvall]

Does anybody else feel dizzy reading this stuff ?......I do.....must be mum's fault !! :mad...The old witch ! :mad: ............. Apparently, she drank a couple of bottles of wine a night during my metamorphosis.......(sniff)(sniff)(sniff).....ooooo, I JUST love turps.

Thank god for Black Humour. Without it I'd definetly need to talk to head doctor. Down hill from then on for shore. I'd have to give up turps......

[Clinton1]

Jake, if it makes you dizzy then imagine how much it makes me go crazy.

I can't tell them that they complete tossers than need to make the decision to either grow up or make sure that they don't contribute to the human gene pool.

I have to guide them into thinking like an adult.

Thats why I'm trying to work out where it comes from, so I can attack the whole concept and sort it out from the start. I can say "don't do this", but if I can point to the whole concept/issue and talk about it in a way that makes it seem pointless and irrelevant then I'll have a better chance of getting it sorted.

[CameronPotter]

How about saying:

"I can understand where you are coming from, but to have you talk about such things in the work place makes me feel that my job as counsellor is overvalued which places undue pressure on me. Thus, I take offense at the implication that I am able to solve your problems and I feel that by bringing them to me, you are devaluing my self-appreciation. Not only that, by taking the complaint to an official level, I feel that you are devaluing the person/idea of whom/which you are feeling aggrieved about. I would feel much more comfortable if we didn't have to talk about these kind of problems and instead you discussed them either with the person you have a problem with, your friends and family or instead showed some mental fortitude rather than burdening me with your griefs that I should not have to address.'


Hopefully somewhere in there they should be rolling their eyes at you - at which stage you simply say, "See how silly it sounds!"

Cam

Alternatively: Have a piece of offcut wood in your office with a hammer and a box of nails. Tell them that woodworking seems to keep people sane and let them hammer in 10 nails. By the time they have done that they should feel better...

[Waldo]

G'day,

And then after hammering in the nails, ask if they feel any better for it? If not, smack them around the head with the bit of wood, then ask the same question again.

[CameronPotter]

Waldo, the trick is the get the thickness of the bit of wood right. For serial offenders do you make the bit of wood a little thinner so that the nails go all the way through!?! :eek: :eek:

I guess that would stop the minor complaints about the workplace...

Cam

[Daddles]

Alternatively: Have a piece of offcut wood in your office with a hammer and a box of nails. Tell them that woodworking seems to keep people sane and let them hammer in 10 nails. By the time they have done that they should feel better...

What you do is have a length of 4x2 (inches, not them little things) and four or five six inch nails. Ask them to drive the nails right through the board, near one end. When they ask you why they are doing this, you tell them they are making you a club which you will use to beat some sense into them

Richard

[Daddles]

Flamin' heck, Cam and Waldo got in as I was typing my reply. Great minds go insane alike eh?

Richard

[Daddles]

Actually, the concept of suggesting woodwork as an outlet is a good one. Of course, the company should help, so ask them to provide a workshop, and a table saw, and a thicknesser, and some nice hand planes, and a lathe, and a ...

Richard

[Waldo]

Waldo, the trick is the get the thickness of the bit of wood right. For serial offenders do you make the bit of wood a little thinner so that the nails go all the way through!?! :eek: :eek:

I guess that would stop the minor complaints about the workplace...

Cam

G'day,

Well that was what I was alluding to. But I thought that Clinton1 might nominate me for some therapy if I suggested such a course of action.

[HappyHammer]

Alternatively: Have a piece of offcut wood in your office with a hammer and a box of nails. Tell them that woodworking seems to keep people sane .....

And you're basing that on the individuals on this BB

HH.

[Studley 2436]

I am thinking about the old cricket school that Rod Marsh used to run here in Adelaide. Marsh had a reputation as a tough master, but he always said he didn't know where that came from as he hadn't had anything to go hard on the students over except in that first year when they got a bit wild and he had to set them straight. I have a feeling that the word was passed to each new set of incomers, play up and you'll pay so they didn't.

Surely all this councelling explosion is one because the service is there and also because the individual groups don't have that communication going within them so individuals go to the councellors as where else can they go.

I am pretty sure it is a poor management thing not to allow the team or in bigger companies teams to get the chance to have a yarn, laugh or whatever together so they can keep things sorted. Weak management likes weak teams as this management can appear to be superior. So allowing people to go to a councellor rather than the others in the group only means there will be back stabbing etc going on making the group weaker. While an outside opinion can be valuable it is crucial that individuals take possesion of their problems and solving them.

Stephen

[ozwinner]

Next time you have a session Clint, just hand these out.



Al

[TassieKiwi]

Oh, and us Tasmanian engineers are obviously better again aren't we?

Erm...Tassie ones better than most, Kiwi ones even betterer