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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Turramurra, NSW
    Posts
    0

    Default Equality of the sexes

    Boys, there seems to be a severe state of male members groveling to their spouses for permission to purchase some bit of machinery which, inevitably, gets used to improve the amenity of the family home.

    Try this contract with your partner:

    If both partners work, then agree an equitable allocation of household and family expenses, by income. Each meets their own responsibilities.

    Hence, whatever is left is deemed "discretionary income" and each spends it as they see fit.

    So, if Her Indoors wants a holiday in Fiji, fine. If Him Indoors wants a table saw, fine. Each foots the bill. I'd prefer the TS, but thats just me.

    Why do many members need to seek permission, or at least accquiescence from their partner? We are all equal these days, aren't we? Does HI ask you when she spends $100 on a hair cut (as opposed to our $12.50)?

    Come on fellas, don't be such wimps!

    Think I'm off on a late night rave?

    Maybe so, but run a search on 'SWMBO' and check out how many references aren't seeking permission for a purchase. Not a lot!

    Soft male poultry!
    Bodgy
    "Is it not enough simply to be able to appreciate the beauty of the garden without it being necessary to believe that there are faeries at the bottom of it? " Douglas Adams

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Sydney, NSW, Australia
    Posts
    1,981

    Default

    I don't have a problem.

    My missus likes me making stuff (usually to her design btw ).
    I don't have to get permission for my purchases and neither does she for hers.

    Of course, when I'm planning a major purchase, like a table saw for instance, I'll pay her the curtesy of discussing it with her.

    (I'll still buy it though. )

    Craig (the un-whipped )

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Tasmania
    Age
    49
    Posts
    118

    Default

    I'm with Craig.
    We both buy what we want when we want it
    Mind you, I think I am much better at the spending game and usually come out on top

    Cheers, Jack (also un-whipped )
    "There is no dark side of the moon really. Matter of fact it's all dark."

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Yinnar, Victoria, Australia
    Age
    66
    Posts
    247

    Default

    I do what I want, when I want (now, have been spouseless for three years ), but prior to that I asked "permission" to make purchases, not because I need to OK it the keeper of the purse strings, BUT I need to make sure the family budget would allow it.

    NOW I know that the kids are being taken care of - the government has set the $ value I have to supply to them each month, I know all the bills have been met, and I have food (alcohol is a food isnt it?) in the cupboard for the week, so any money I have left over can be spent how I want and on what I want.
    I try and do new things twice.. the first time to see if I can do it.. the second time to see if I like it
    Kev

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Tolmie - Victoria
    Age
    68
    Posts
    1,058

    Default

    I earn and Meg manages the finances - has worked perfectly for us for 29 or 30 years now.

    I ask her if I can buy tools and I welcome her questioning whether or not it is important etc. It is another filter for not buying crap or not blowing money on a whim due to a campaign by another sleaze bag marketing drop kick.

    We own our own house 100%, we owe no money, I have some nice tools, Meg wants for nothing plus we are both happy.

    Would we be in this financial position if the financial management was different? Who knows?

    As the chief purchasing officer, Meg buys all my beer, wine, smokes, clothes and she has bought most of my tools. Many of the good tool outlets know her on a first name basis!

    Am I under the thumb? I don't think so, maybe others think do think so.

    I suggest the best arrangement is whatever works best for the people involved so that long term plans benefiting everone are realised.
    - Wood Borer

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Toowoomba Qld.
    Age
    65
    Posts
    0

    Default

    I don't refer to my wife as 'SWMBO', I don't want to formalise what is already apparent!!
    If I want a new tablesaw, and go and discuss it , she'll say "If you're so bloody handy why don't you go and make one!" :eek:

    Cheers,
    Andy Mac
    Change is inevitable, growth is optional.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Surges Bay Tasmania - the DEEP SOUTH!
    Age
    62
    Posts
    0

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bodgy

    Why do many members need to seek permission, or at least accquiescence from their partner? We are all equal these days, aren't we?

    Soft male poultry!
    mm are u crazy or what ?

    anyon ethgat relates to a female regularly knows they will only accept blanket superiority to us, sometimes benevolent other times hostile...
    ask them...they will tell u i am sure..hehehe

    my wife has the same concerns as most others, i got around it by just buying what i need, often on layby and then telling her later, as the drill press is carried thorugh the house to the verndah workshop...mmmm

    then i produce things that she can use for her spinning and impress her friends..its a trade in brownie points

    when we wre married, she expressed conerns that the vows did not contain 'and to obey'...i hadnt noticed...

    dunno why this is, just anthropomorphic behavoiur...i guess...

    still a su suggest, its a trade off and sensible managment will help both parties reach satisfaction....in an ideal world...

    cheeeeeeeers
    john

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    313

    Default

    I am free to spend as much as I like on whatever I like - so long as it comes from my pocket money.
    Anything outside of that requires a discussion because it affects the overall budget.
    The main reason we discuss things is because we have so little "discretionary income".

    $100 haircuts, holiday in Fiji, machinery for the shed - these all fall into the "later" category in our life; at the moment it is needs, house, study fees, and super/investments.
    Cheers,
    Clinton

    "Use your third eye" - Watson

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/clinton_findlay/

  9. #9
    rrich Guest

    Default Goodness?????

    LOML and I were married August 7, 1965. Shortly after the wedding we decided that the checking account was a 50-50 propisition. It seems that my 50% was making deposits and her 50% was writing the checks.

    Now at age 62, I was able to retire with both vehicles and the house paid for in full. We're both on Social Security (The old age dole?) so finally LOML does do some depositing in the checking account. And I have about all the wood working tools that I need. The dust collector will be purchased probably in May, my choice.

    So mates, when you find one that has a good financial head on her sholders, acquiesce my friends, acquiesce.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Location
    Drop Bear Capital of Gippsland (Lang Lang) Vic Australia
    Age
    74
    Posts
    2,238

    Default

    My other half handles millions of other peoples dollars, invests, deposits, collects and ensures it's safe and secure.
    Why can't she do the same with ours????????
    Stupidity kills. Absolute stupidity kills absolutely.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    Near Bodgy, AlexS, Wongo & CraigB
    Age
    19
    Posts
    744

    Default

    Woodborer - I think I love you....

    my missus tells me what I can buy, mind you she lets me buy anyting I want so long as I save up for it out of my pocket money - as a trade off I agree to dig her holes for her plants, carry her stuff around, pay the mortgage and be the medical expenses weeny.

    besides, I love being whipped. hurt me! hurt me!
    Zed

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Tolmie - Victoria
    Age
    68
    Posts
    1,058

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Zed
    Woodborer - I think I love you....
    Zed - what can I say?

    Wasn't that a song by the Carpenters? Probably wrong because I am hopeless at remembering the names of bands.:mad:
    - Wood Borer

  13. #13
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Melbourne, Victoria
    Age
    50
    Posts
    641

    Default

    My SWMBO does a stirling job with our finances. I don't have any idea what money we have where. Therefore, when I say that I have to go to SWMBO, what I mean is, I need to find out if we can afford it. If she says no, then we can't.

    Dan
    Is there anything easier done than said?
    - Stacky. The bottom pub, Cobram.

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