Positions Vacant

[Howdya do that]

In my dreams last night I won $2 million in the lottery so now we have a budget of $200,000 to build the ultimate forum members shed.
Applications should include but are not limited to

• Outlook on life
• Drinking habits
• Favourite foods
• Qualifications

Successful applicants will be invited to a 10 day fit-out of the shed as soon as I purchase the winning ticket.

Hours of work
Before 9am - Bacon, eggs, anything high in colesterol and contemplation of the days work ahead.
12 - 2pm - Pies, sausage rolls, hamburgers and procrastination over what to do next
6pm - late - BBQ, beers, red wine, Bundy, put s**t on each other and planning for the following day (There will a minimum alcohol consumption requirement before you may contribute)

On the eleventh day I will pay someone to complete what we have not

[Bodgy]

Sounds like my sort of job, but could we add kidneys and black pudding to the breakfast menu and offer a decent Single Malt as an option with the Bundy?

[Termite]

Well the 200 grand should see us out for the 10 days, what's your budget for the shed materials and machinery.

[Zed]

there should be a pi$$taking instructional video included (with batteries).

combinations of machinary should be included - note "everything Felder" is not an acceptable response.

[Felder]

combinations of machinary should be included - note "everything Felder" is not an acceptable response.

Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

And I was going to donate all the machines so you could spend more money on food and booze!

[DanP]

Sorright Brendan, Givvem to me.

[Driver]

According to the Code of Practice (do a search!) there needs to be a set minimum amount of time in the schedule for the following vital blokely activities

1. Leaning.
2. Gazing and/or contemplating.
3. Standing and looking (not to be confused with 2).
4. Sitting and thinking (not to be confused with 2 or 3).

Equally, there needs to be (again, according to the Code of Practice), a schedule of acceptable blokes' drinks and due recognition of circumstances when chaps' drinks (do a search!) can be rendered acceptable due to an individual bloke's circumstances. In this way, gin and tonic - normally a rigidly defined chap's drink - can, when circumstances render the appropriate dispensation, be consumed by a bloke, in his shed, without any contravention of the Code of Practice.

Col