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Thread: Positions Vacant
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24th February 2006, 08:59 AM #1
Positions Vacant
In my dreams last night I won $2 million in the lottery so now we have a budget of $200,000 to build the ultimate forum members shed.
Applications should include but are not limited to
- Outlook on life
- Drinking habits
- Favourite foods
- Qualifications
Hours of work
Before 9am - Bacon, eggs, anything high in colesterol and contemplation of the days work ahead.
12 - 2pm - Pies, sausage rolls, hamburgers and procrastination over what to do next
6pm - late - BBQ, beers, red wine, Bundy, put s**t on each other and planning for the following day (There will a minimum alcohol consumption requirement before you may contribute)
On the eleventh day I will pay someone to complete what we have notCheers,
Howdya
Proudly supporting research into the therapeutic benefits of the Friday Thread
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24th February 2006, 09:14 AM #2
Sounds like my sort of job, but could we add kidneys and black pudding to the breakfast menu and offer a decent Single Malt as an option with the Bundy?
Bodgy
"Is it not enough simply to be able to appreciate the beauty of the garden without it being necessary to believe that there are faeries at the bottom of it? " Douglas Adams
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24th February 2006, 01:03 PM #3
Well the 200 grand should see us out for the 10 days, what's your budget for the shed materials and machinery.
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24th February 2006, 03:09 PM #4
there should be a pi$$taking instructional video included (with batteries).
combinations of machinary should be included - note "everything Felder" is not an acceptable response.Zed
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24th February 2006, 03:12 PM #5
Originally Posted by Zed
And I was going to donate all the machines so you could spend more money on food and booze!Retired member
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24th February 2006, 04:32 PM #6
Sorright Brendan, Givvem to me.
Is there anything easier done than said?- Stacky. The bottom pub, Cobram.
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24th February 2006, 11:28 PM #7
According to the Code of Practice (do a search!) there needs to be a set minimum amount of time in the schedule for the following vital blokely activities
1. Leaning.
2. Gazing and/or contemplating.
3. Standing and looking (not to be confused with 2).
4. Sitting and thinking (not to be confused with 2 or 3).
Equally, there needs to be (again, according to the Code of Practice), a schedule of acceptable blokes' drinks and due recognition of circumstances when chaps' drinks (do a search!) can be rendered acceptable due to an individual bloke's circumstances. In this way, gin and tonic - normally a rigidly defined chap's drink - can, when circumstances render the appropriate dispensation, be consumed by a bloke, in his shed, without any contravention of the Code of Practice.
ColDriver of the Forums
Lord of the Manor of Upper Legover