thefts by the workers on the night shift

[Cliff Rogers]

A man got a job as a night watchman at a factory. There had been a lot of thefts by the workers on the night shift, and so every morning when the night shift workers passed through his gate it was his job to check their bags and pockets to make sure that nothing was being stolen.

Things were going along very well the first night on the job until a man pushing a wheelbarrow of newspaper came through his gate. Aha, he thought, that man thinks he can cover up what he is stealing with that newspaper. So he removed the paper only to find nothing. Still he felt that the man was acting strangely, so he questioned him about the paper.

"I get a little extra money from newspapers I recycle, so I go into the lunchroom and pick up all the ones people have thrown away." The guard let him pass, but decided to keep a close eye on him. The next night it was the same, and the night after that. Week after week it went on. The same guy would push the wheelbarrow of newspapers past the guard's checkpoint. The guard would always check and find nothing.

Then one night, about a year later, the guard reported for work only to find a message had been left for him telling him to report to his supervisor. He walked into the supervisor's office and before he could say a word, the boss said, "You're fired!"

"Fired?" he asked in total surprise. "Why? What did I do?"

"It was your job to make sure that no one stole anything from this plant and you have failed. So you're fired."

"Wait a minute, what do you mean failed. Nobody ever stole anything from this place while I was on guard."

"Oh, really," the boss answered. "Then how do you account for the fact that there are 365 wheelbarrows missing?"

[Ashore]

When I was a trainee there were two such stories
one guy walking down the road put up his ladder at each light climbed up and cleaned the light continued this through the gate and continued on to the lights in the carpark , missing next day was a very expensive aluminum extension ladder
The second was a bloke from the machine shop who was thought to have knocked off some micrometers, as he went through the gate was stopped by tipped off security guard to have his bag inspected , refused to open it said he had caught one of the wild kittens that were in the steelworks at the time for his young daughter , bag was duly opened and wild cat was off, next day walked up to the guard shook the bag cat made noises asked if he wanted to check his bag and if the cat got out he would have to get the next one for his poor little daughter as he had spent two lunch hours now getting them, walked out with his new mics.

[maglite]

In years past, pilfering in the local mines was so bad that most tools and implements were bought in duplicate.

Most blokes were issued with 2 tools....1 for work.....i for home