QUOTEABLE QUOTES a bit of fun

[Neil]

Something easy and a bit of fun.

• Read the quote(s)... enjoy, laugh, be shocked, saddened, uplifted, etc.
  
• Then post an new one.
  
• Can be of your own making, famous quote, from a T-Shirt or sign, who cares.
  
• Can be funny, inspirational, uplifting, sad, grose, whatever you want.
• Just keep it clean

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I'll go first. Feel free to follow up with more.


FROM MY FAVORITE T-SHIRT

EAT WELL STAY FIT DIE ANYWAY

[Neil]

FROM MY 2ND FAVORITE T-SHIRT

I AM NOT IGNORING YOU I'M JUST NOT LISTENING

[Neil]

FROM A T-SHIRT NOW GONE TO GOD

I NEVER DREAMED THAT ONE DAY I'D BECOME A GRUMPY OLD MAN BUT HERE I AM KILLING IT!

[Neil]

Feel free to follow up with your own.

FROM ANOTHER T-SHIRT (not mine but clever)

THE DEVIL SAW ME WITH MY HEAD DOWN AND THOUGHT HE'D WON UNTIL I SAID AMEN

[Neil]

Growing old is mandatory... Growing up isn't.

[ubeaut]

Help! I'm a 21 year old trapped in a 75 year old body.

[Neil]

C'mon folks don't be scared, have a go!

[Neil]

Clever reply to "Go to Hell"

I can't go to Hell.
The devil still has a
restraining order against me.

[Neil]

Bit of blatant advertising... Sorry, just couldn't help myself.

From About Us page on our U-Beaut Polishes shop

[r3nov8or]

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

[r3nov8or]

I always give 100% at Work: 10% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 22% Thursday, and 5% Friday.

[johnc]

Don't take life to seriously
Nobody gets out of it alive anyway

[Neil]

I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go
I keep on singing all day long
I owe, I owe, I owe, I owe....

[r3nov8or]

Using all these bullets at once

The Quotes of Steven Wright:

1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... But she left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

19 - I intend to live forever ... So far, so good.

20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name

25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

[mic-d]

Life is pain princess, anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something. Princess Bride

Everything ends badly, that's why it ends. Name that movie

Murphy was an optimist