SWMBO has departed this mortal coil

[BobL]

The kitchen emptying continues.
There turned out to be 6 lettuce keepers!

The pantry and most of the other cupboards have been invade by mice. Like the rest of the house the panty and cupboards were stuffed to the gunnels and although I did notice some mouse droppings a few weeks ago and caught 4 small mice in panty moth traps, it was not until I started removing stuff that I don't normally use eg baking ingredients, that I saw the extent of the problem. While cleaning I saw a bit fat mouse scurrying away and I found 2 more dead mice near a big hole a Gravox box and they appear to have eaten most of its contents. I also went away a few weeks back and when I came back found a live mouse in the bath.

The mouse poop was piled up to up to 5mm deed and appeared to have been dissolved and then dried and glued itself to the shelves by mouse pee. I had to use BBQ scraper to remove it. Everything near the backs of the shelves is also covered in droppings and mouse pee - that all got chucked out along with some of the products dated as far back as 1995 which is when the kitchen was first installed. Some stuff even looks older as I remember some items being in the old kitchen as far back as 1978!

All of the canned stuff that I will never use, like Sweetened Condensed Milk, canned fruit, and Honey, I boxed up and gave to my Brother who's works as a housing officer for people with social/mental health issues. He manages several hostels and group share houses and often collect up food from various sources and drops it into these places and it's usually gone within a week.

The curious thing is that Amanda did a major pantry cleanup/re-arrangement (so she could stuff more stuff in) about 3 years ago so she would have seen those out of out of products etc - why the hell she did this I'll never know. I''s a bit nostalgic at times but I can now usually smile and shake my head. While Amanda was sometimes high maintenance she was often overly frugal.

I kept wondering - why am cleaning up the mouse poop as the kitchen cupboards are all getting replaced. Well. by disturbing it I appear to have released the smell throughout the house and although my nose is hopeless even I can now really notice the PONG!. Amanda would have smelled a problem a lot sooner and done something about it.

So far I have relocated 20 (50L) plastic tubs of stuff (pantry, plus cookware) to other parts if the house, 5 plastic tubs of stuff have gone to Opshops, 2 tubs of food to the needy. 3 tubs have gone into the bin. I reckon I have a bot a mother 10 tubs to go. Then when it's all over and I go to put it back I will do another cull.

I'm moving the fridge to and setting up a temporary kitchen in the dining room on the dining table. Microwave, electric frypan, kettle, Food processor, and a small Vibieme coffee machine I have borrowed from brother, My Cimbali coffee machine is a fully plumbed unit with an external pump like cafes uses and has to be partially dismantled.

I hope the kitchen dudes can stick to schedule.

[FenceFurniture]

Something that may assist in the temporary kitchen: I recently took delivery of a $115 portable Westinghouse Induction cooktop, which is about A3 size, and 40mm high – it's the duckz nutz! Two reasons I bought it: as a cheap way to find out if I liked Induction cooking (and I do, very much - it's FAST) with a view to having a Big Boy's one in a kitchen, and also so I can use it outside in place of a monster gas burner when I am making vegetable stock for soup making (20 litres at a time).

You can't place them on iron based surfaces, like S/S, because the surface will get hot, but an old chopping board under it sorts that out quicksmart. Your pans need to have an iron content (but you knew that).

Just as a comparison, an induction top boils water in around half the time a 3" gas ring does (from same starting temp, same pan).

[BobL]

Thanks FF.

We've had an induction cooktop in the kitchen for about 7 years so all our cookware has ferrous bases. The Moka pot which I only use occasionally is SS but it's base is too small so it does not trigger the induction sensors but I have a small cast iron frypan which still does, so I heat the Moka pot on top of that.

Induction cooktops are indeed the ducks nuts and I do use ours often especially to cook the dogs food. I really like the hotplates timer functions as I often forget hotplates are still on.

I already have a conventional/portable twin electric hotplate in the shed that I use for Metal Bluing that I can swing in if I need to heat a sauce pan etc.

The kitchen is finally empty except for the microwave, food processor and my coffee machine, all of which I will move at the last moment.
Ended up temporarily relocating 27 (50L) plastic tubs of stuff to other parts if the house, 5 tubs of stuff have gone to Opshops, 3 tubs of food to the needy. 4 tubs have gone into the bin.
Also caught 2 fat mice last night with snap traps.

[BobL]

The last two months have been mainly spent finalising the cleaning out of some more of Amanda's, and all of her mother's and Grandmother's stuff from the house. Over 200 boxes and bags have now gone to Op-shops. The Kitchen is still empty awaiting a the reno. Most of Amanda'a clothes are now gone and even though I have moved some of her craft stuff on, by far most of it is still in the house and I won't be moving on it for some time.

I sold the caravan and the Isuzu 4WD, and the horse float sale is being finalised.
Also sold some blacksmithing stuff I wasn't using.
Gave away the couple of trailer loads of small logs and slabs (remnants of 3 retired wood turners collections, and some) that accumulated on the driveway over the last 15 years, so happy to get my driveway back
I still have my Toyota HiAce van but will sell that once I get my EV.

In the meantime have been researching and looking at EVs and fully anticipated waiting at least several months after placing an order to get what I wanted.
On Tuesday morning I ordered a Tesla Model Y (Performance) and paid a $400 deposit.
Yesterday (Wednesday) morning I was informed that if I could stump up the remaining payment immediately I could pick it up tomorrow (Friday)
Apparently the funds have just cleared so it looks like it's happening.

I am not a petrol head but am really interested in the electronics and software aspects of this beastie.
Anything more to do with this vehicle I will post in the Motor Vehicle forums.

[Bushmiller]

Bob

The cleaning up and sorting out processes indicates to me you are coming to terms with the situation and moving on. That is really good news, not only for you, but for others in similar situations and I feel sure is a source of comfort to those people too. In saying this I am not trying to diminish your loss (oh, whoops, I didn't mean that one), but emphasising the road is not an easy one.

On the EV, I will look forward to seeing how that fares. They have become so controversial with so much misinformation bandied around.

Stay strong!

Regards
Paul

[BobL]

Thanks Paul. i do indeed feel a bit stronger. I've had lots of offers of help with the cleaning up and sorting out process but I felt that doing it all myself was part of my grieving process. Each to their own of course but it really helped me come to terms with my reality. Also I felt that I was the person closest to an understanding of Amanda's things and I would be likely to know of how she would have like them to be disposed. I have thought of the reverse situation. If I had died first my guess is Amanda would not have done much with any of my stuff and would have continued to find the considerable clutter from her mum's and grandma's stuff overwhelming, possibly for years.

My son says the small mercy of hi mother going first is I get to clean up her considerable stuff, which is what I have done. An annoying thing is that unless visitors look into cupboards and knew how stuffed to the gunnels they were previously, they cannot see the removed 200 boxes and bags of stuff and 12 pieces of furniture! In other words, there is also still much to do but I think I have earned a rest and some time to play with the new EV.

[BobL]

Monday was the anniversary of Amanda's passing.
A few days before I'd taken a drive in my EV down south and was staying with friends which was sort of a distraction that helped me get thru it.
I've received loads of recollections and memory phone calls SMS and emails from various friends and family about the the anniversary which have been wonderful.
The good thing is I'm not feeling anywhere near as bad as I thought it might be and am feeling way way better than when I last wrote in this thread.

When I got home from down south I found the Cecil Brunner roses I had planted in a small garden bed into which I had sprinkled Amanda's ashes had just started to bloom.

CecilBrunner.jpg
Some updates:
House decluttering had more or less stopped although council verge pick up in a couple of weeks is going to see a lot of stuff placed on vthe erge.

Kitchen reno is finally completely finished and looks good and works well.

Have hired a "fussy" painter who has already painted 3 rooms inside house and now is going to paint all of the outside as this was last done between 40 and 27 years ago,. As you can imagine there is loads of preparation required which is why I hired him. He's not cheap and overall the painting job looks like it will cost more than the kitchen reno - still it desperately needs to be done.

Have stopped going to group grief counselling but am still seeing the psych but only every 6 weeks or so. Have stopped reading books on grief and writing in my diary but recently have added a couple of Pages to my Amanda Memoirs. Amanda's presence and stuff is everywhere in the house and it makes me happy far more than it makes me sad.

I walk my dogs every day and go for a group walk with friends once a week. I still still spend much of my week socialising with friends and family - everyone wants to go for coffee or come to my place to have coffee. I go to a physio/gym twice a week to do a weight lifting program to deal with my knee issues which has helped me a lot.

Have been on a few longish drives with the EV. Busselton, Mullewa, Bridgetown and will be going down Albany way in a couple of weeks. It's fantastic around town and for long distance driving it's very comfortable and super fun now that I have largely overcome range anxiety. Next year I plan a few longer trips now that fast chargers are being set up in the countryside.

I've sold my HiAce Van as I just wasn't using it and it was starting to rust, so now have a nice clear driveway.
I have a decent size trailer and the EV has a tow bar rated to 1.8T so can still move stuff if I need to.
Drive.jpg

The one thing I still find hard to do is work in my shed.
It desperately needs a good clean out and I need a decent project to get me in there - although there are loads of unfinished projects in the shed I could tackle.

Thanks everyone for their kind words and support during the last 12 months. They've been very much appreciated.

[FenceFurniture]

That's really great to hear Bob.

[Mr Brush]

Hey Bob - glad to hear you're exploring further with the EV. As long as you don't let it "ruin the weekend" (S. Morrison...)

I saw a very creative use of the V2L feature on Atto 3 the other day; car parked up in a paddock, extension lead plugged into car, and not far away a guy running a set of clippers to shear a sheep. We're only limited by our imagination !

[Simplicity]

Great too hear Bob .

Cheers Matt.

[BobL]

A few weeks ago I was interviewed about Amanda's passing and how I have been dealing with my grief, by a counsellor (Mary) from a local major hospital.
Mary helps patients (and families of patients) who undergo difficult diagnoses, treatments and even death.
The people she generally finds hardest to help are men and so she has been interviewing men who are prepared to talk about these things and where appropriate turning them into podcasts so that less communicative men can hear men talking about these issues and how they worked their way through them.

The podcast is now available at Episode 6 Bob Loss
If you've read this whole thread you will already know most of what is in the podcast but I thought I would put up the link anyway.

[Mr Brush]

A very good listen - thanks for putting up the link Bob.