To The Retired Blokes.

[Termite]

Dear Dorothy Dix.

No seriously, I have a bit of a problem and as Paul Hogan said in Crocodile Dundee, "What does he go to a shrink for, hasn't he got any mates?"

I've been retired, for several reasons, for two months now and over the past few weeks I have developed this underlying vague feeling of guilt for not going to work. It's a bit of a worry.
Has this happened to any of you, and if so how did you overcome/cope with it.

I'm 61, have worked since I was 15, own everything and don't owe a cent to anybody. Have a fabulous relationship with SWMBO and apart from this "problem" I don't have a worry in the world.

I have always been a bit down on "Bludgers" and am wondering if I am subconsciously putting myself in that same category.

All advice, sensible, humourous, crazy, or insulting, will be welcomed.

[bennylaird]

Enjoy it mate, you have already put in a deserve to take it easy, trouble is you will finish up working harder on all those projects you have not had time to do.

Don't feel guilty as I lost a good mate last weak at 57, he was getting to the stage where he was set up to retire and then never got the chance......

[Tikki]

Hey Termite, just go stick your head in the shed! In no time you'll wonder how you had time to go to work with everything else you did in life, know I did when I left work. Don't feel guilty, you worked hard and you deserve to be where you're at now ... just ENJOY!

Cheers
Tikki

PS Dear Dorothy Dix? ... showing you age there, or is she/he still around?

Whoops! Just realized this was addressed to the blokes.

[keith53]

Sounds like you mightn't have prepared yourself psychologically for retirement. Can't see why the feelings though. You've worked long enough, now its time to indulge yourself. Apart from the woodwork, something else that's pretty good for the soul is a tinny. Chasing fish & crabs is a very theraputic way of keeping your mind off anything serious.

[Greg Q]

My dad 'worked' until he was eighty-four. He didn't do much in the business after he turned 75, but did more and more in the community, helping out with charities and other organisations. He was a real spark plug all of his life, a product of a time when able-bodied people worked regardles of age.

I don't know what to tell you apart from the suggestion that you might find a day or two a week of volunteer work rewarding.

On the other hand, your work ethic has gotten you here-time to enjoy it.

Greg

[Harry72]

Go for a nice long walk look for younger people and think as you're looking at them... maybe they'd be lucky as me one day.
My father had a hard time after retirement, just need to get stuck into your hobbies you'll soon forget about working for money, enjoying life every day is a blessing!

[Wood Borer]

Very shrewd Brother Termite.

You are trying to make us all jealous - I can't wait to be able to work in the shed full time.

Enjoy what sounds like a well earned retirement.

[Sturdee]

I have developed this underlying vague feeling of guilt for not going to work. It's a bit of a worry.
Has this happened to any of you, and if so how did you overcome/cope with it.

It is a worry indeed Termite.:confused: Feeling guilty over such a triffling matter as no longer working. Definitely a senior moment.

I didn't have that feeling when I retired/ceasing full time work but may be because I started eight years ago.

I don't think you should feel guilty, but retirement should not be a total withdrawel from the community or ceasing to use your work skills and I suggest you look at a favourite charity and offer your services for one day a week as a volunteer. You'll be amazed at the appreciative response and it will help to keep your self esteem.

At least it works for me.

Peter.

[Slavo]

Get a hobby, I hear that woodworking can be satisfying
maybe look at doing some volunteer work for a day or two per week, that's what my old man is looking at doing when he retires next year

[bitingmidge]

I can sympathise with the guilts.

I used to get that feeling even when I started taking weekends off! :eek: :eek:

My old man had been retired three months before he had so much to do that he had to put on another bloke, so watch out!

Another friend had retirement foist upon him at 55, and even though he was financially independant he had a really tough time for a couple of years. Once he got into brewing his own beer, (and consuming it) he seemed to forget about all else!

Cheers,

P

[Bodgy]

You seem unprepared for retirement. Did you plan to retire?

Guilt is held to be internalised anger, so without getting all touchy feely, maybe some professional help would be good. Retired, it'll certainly be cheap.

There's no point in stating the obvious, ie you worked all yr life, you deserve this reward, cause you already know that, yet it doesn't help.

Retirement is a radical change of life, your self image has just disappeared. Who are you now? If you previously saw yourself as a productive member of the community, hard working, tax paying, achieiving, none of thats really got to change - has it? Retirment's worse than the midlife crisis it's said (and I know thats pretty awful, mine's ongoing)

You may just be taking time to adjust, if your current feelings don't fade (weeks - not months) go talk to someone.

[Rocker]

Termite,

I retired 10 years ago. I didn't have your problem, since retirement enabled me to do what I had long wanted to do - take up woodworking more seriously. I think the secret of a contented retirement is to find some relatively demanding 'work' that can replace the work you did before you retired. Now is the time to stretch yourself by acquiring new skills that you did not have the time for whilst you were working. You could teach yourself to use CAD software, for instance; or you could undertake some major DIY project, which previously you would not have had time to undertake.

Now, if only I could actually make money from selling pieces I have made, my retirement happiness would be assured. Meanwhile I just give them to rellies

Rocker

[Daddles]

Apart from the woodwork, something else that's pretty good for the soul is a tinny. Chasing fish & crabs is a very theraputic way of keeping your mind off anything serious.

Nah Keith, you've only got it HALF right.

Termite, get some plans and BUILD yourself that tinny ... out of wood of course. The little hartleys are the same style of boat as the tinnies and are easy to build and can look very nice (cue Glen to show us a piccy of Rusty).

I can understand your feelings though. You've got the hobby - woodworking, but you probably feel you need a direction. Well, a big project like the wooden boat is a good start - by big, something that is achievable but which you won't finish this week. A project that gets you out with other blokes is good too.

Volunteer work is good.

My old man's solution was to join up with the tuesday morning brigade at his church. Every tuesday, a group of old buffers get together and fix things around the church (much to the chagrin of the local tradesmen who have to unfix some of the work :eek: ) - it meets Dad's need to give something back to the church, gets him in with a group of mates for blokey time (hard with SWMBO around all the time) and it's the sort of activity he's done all his life (maintaining, fixing and making things).

Richard

[DavidG]

I've been retired, for several reasons, for two months now and over the past few weeks I have developed this underlying vague feeling of guilt for not going to work. It's a bit of a worry.

This is NOT a feeling of guilt about work but the slowly creeping in feeling of guilt about AT LAST I CAN DO WHAT I WANT.
This will pass as you organise your self into a schedule of:
sleeping,
fishing,
golf if you like that
wood work
eating when you like
shopping
clubs
pubs
associations and voluntary work (oops 4 letter word)

[Termite]

PS Dear Dorothy Dix? ... showing you age there, or is she/he still around?

Whoops! Just realized this was addressed to the blokes.

The Dear Dorothy Dix column that ran for many years was actually run by a bloke, was he a SNAG before his time?