What has your kid said?

[namtrak]

When Lily was 2 and a half she strutted up to me in the kitchen (I was making dinner) and defiantly pointed up at me and demanded "Where is my fu##en dinner!!" Both SWMBO and I wet our pants.

When Paris was about 5 we were in seeing the very very rotund doctor, and as he turned around to type something into his computer, Paris declared "That's Fat Bastard" - referring to the character out of Austen Powers. The intern sitting in with us almost fell off his chair, the doctor pretended not to hear (thankfully)

[Iain]

When I was an apprentice travelling to Perth on the bus a boy about 5 was giving Mum a fair bit of grief, Mum had enough and told him he was heading for a smack if he didn't behave.
Mr 5 retorted 'if you smack me I'll tell Dad you peed in the red bucket this morning'.
They got off at the next stop, Mum bright red, I have always wondered what the red bucket was since then.

[doug the slug]

When number 2 son was 5 or 6 (now 18) i was taking him to the dessert bar at sizzlers. as i worked the chocolate icecream dispenser (softserve) Simon called out "wow dad it looks just like a big poo poo coming out!!!!!

the line behind us waiting for dessert cleared away to nothing

[ele__13]

Oh dear ive been sitting here peeing myself laughing for the past 20 mins ive had the kids come read over my shoulder and doug wanting to know what forum im reading ... im just trying t o work out which of the best of our kids is the best to write about one doug can talk about his kids and chocolate ice cream or i can talk about "pretty trucks " or our now 18yr old who yelled at the top of HIS very loud voice about our extremely pretty lady being a "Mother F--ker " and the whole surgery to hear .or mum ive lost the toilet and the child concerned peed somewhere she shouldnt hence no more Rhubarb plant and a not so happy mum .. was growing brilliantly ... tooo

Life makes u smile specially when u remember what the kids have done over the years its good cheers jules

[ozwinner]

Our son age 6 ( now 21) was being a pain in the bum, we wished him to have 6 kids the same as him.
He said all serious, " I would drown the first 5 ".

Al :eek:

[BJP]

I remember when my eldest girl was about 2 or 4, (now 21), we were all watching some easter movie and just when it got to the part where Moses parted the sea she said f#%&* hell, it slayed everyone, we tried to keep a straight face but, mission impossible

[Gingermick]

Middle bloke has now worked out the hierarchy or rule in our houseold.
'Dad is the big boss, mummy is a little boss because she can't start the motorbike'

[zenwood]

When #1 son was about 4, a family friend was reading him a picture book about a rabbit family getting ready for bed. Boy rabbit was in blue pyjamas, and girl rabbit was in pink. Family friend though he'd comment on this fact by asking son, "How can you tell that's the boy rabbit?" Son replies, "Because he's got a big penis!"

On another occasion, one of the boys (about 3, and not quite up to speed with his pronunciation of 's' sounds) came in from outside carrying a big stick he'd collected outside, and announced, "I've got a big, big, dick". Assembled gathering stunned into silence. Said I: "That's m' boy!"

[simplicio]

Dinner table conversation:

Six year old: ...yada yada and I told him to "lick my butt"!
Self: Son, you know you shouldn't say that...
Wife: <beams approval>
Self: ...in Australia, we say "ar*se"!
Wife: <fires up deathray>

[doug the slug]

4 year old daughter (now 16) had made the connection between size and age. she was telling me that she was the smallest because she was 4, simon was next biggest at 6 and Mathew at 8. she then asked me how old i was and i answered that i was 32.
how old was mum? 33.
"but daddy you are much bigger than mummy".
yes thats right, i replied.

"then mummy isnt very big for a 33 year old is she?" came the reply

[Ratbag Oz]

My two year old learnt a new word this morning (He has a vocabulary of about a dozen words, he uses actions more)
Anyway, I had rage on and he for some reason ?!? was transfixed by Jessica Simpson wiggly washing a car in a skimpy bikini (I thought I had a few years yet!) anyway, halfway through the song Jessica taught him his newest word, and for the rest of the day he has been running around the house slapping his leg and yelling Yee-hah! <_<

Ratbag