Computer Funny

[KBs PensNmore]

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):


Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect .'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble?'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared'
Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'


Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's


plugged into the wall..
Caller: 'Yes, it is..'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and
find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
the back of your computer..'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'
Caller: 'No..'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark?'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
coming in from the window.'
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not?'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it
licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and
packing stuff that your computer came in?'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet..'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it
up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to
the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too damned stupid to own a computer!'

[woodPixel]

There is not a single IT person on earth who doesn't have a dozen scenarios exactly like this.

Its shocking.

[AlexS]

I bought an ex-police computer.
I only have to punch it once to get the information out.

[ian]

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

snip
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not?'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and
packing stuff that your computer came in?'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet..'

snip

Operator: 'Tell them you're too damned stupid to own a computer!'

God that joke is soo, soo old

I think I first heard it back in the mid 90s

[woodPixel]

God that joke is soo, soo old

I think I first heard it back in the mid 90s

So last century!

[aldav]

So last century!

Yeah, the fact that the program referenced is WordPerfect is a bit of a giveaway to the age of the joke. Still funny though.

[woodPixel]

What isn't so terribly funny is the pace of change.

Young people getting into IT have absolutely no idea how frenetic it was.

Once, laddie, I was an absolute expert in Novel Netware (CNE!), vines, IBMs AS400's and multiprotocol routers. Man, we needed to know out sheet back then. Now, worthless. Utterly.

What is curious, however, is the lack of change in TCP, apache, Linux (other than the new bits, obviously), all databases, "cloud" FUD (groan....) and hosting.

Oh yes, the users haven't generally changed either.... PEBCAK. Still PEBCAK.

edit - and management of tech companies. Why are they LIKE this!???