This kid will go far

[normell]

This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald’s restaurant in ffice:smarttags" />lace w:st="on">Floridalace>; andfficeffice" />>>
they hired him because he was so honest and funny!>>
NAME: Greg Bulmash.>>
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.>>
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was>>
in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.>>
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If>>
that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.>>
EDUCATION: Yes.>>
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.>>
SALARY: Less than I’m worth.>>
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and ‘post-it’ notes.>>
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.>>
AVAILABLE FOR WORK: Of course. That’s why I’m applying.>>
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 – 3:30pm., Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.>>
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.>>
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?>>
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UPTO>>
50lbs?: 50lbs. of what?>>
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”>>
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be the winner of>>
the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.>>
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job, no, on my breaks, yes.>>
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the lace w:st="on">Bahamaslace> with a fabulously>>
wealthy dumb blond supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be>>
doing that now.>>
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR>>
KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.>>
SIGN HERE: Aries

[Gra]

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

He had my old job...

I quit that one too