In a bar

[Carry Pine]

There I was minding my own business in a bar and a lady walks up.
She says, You know with a shave and a good tidy up you would be a good looker!
I replied, if I had a shave and a good tidy up, I would be over there talking to your gorgeous friends!

[rrich]

And he lived to tell the story.

[AlexS]

Bloke sitting in a busy bar, an attractive young lady comes and take a seat next to him. Thinking "Why not?", he offers to buy her a drink. The young lady turns to him, and at the top of her voice says "What? A motel? What sort of girl do you think I am?"

Everyone in the bar turns to look at him. Embarrassed, he takes his drink and slinks over to a seat in the corner, where he tries to be as unobtrusive as possible.

After a few minutes, the girl comes over, sits down and says "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you, but I'm a psychology student, and I'm studying the reactions of people in awkward situations. I'd actually be quite flattered to have that drink with you now."

The bloke turns to her and says, loudly, "What? $50!"

[rrich]

The bloke turns to her and says, loudly, "What? $50!"

Actually I was in that bar when the bloke really said loudly, "What? I don't want to buy it, only rent it."

[Carry Pine]

He's sitting in a bar and a gorgeous woman sits next to him. Wanting a good line he says,
Look at my watch, it's an x ray machine.
I dont believe you, she replies.
Well it shows me you are not wearing panties at the moment.
She replies, well I am and points to the outline through her skirt.
Darn ! Its running fast again!

[woodhutt]

You know with a shave and a good tidy up you would be a good looker!

I thought your reply was going to be, "So would you."
Pete

[Carry Pine]

Girl comes up to him in a bar and says, you're a good looker. Can I have your phone number?
Sure, have you got a pen?
Yes.
Well the farmer is going to want you in it before it gets dark!

[Ruddy]

Girl walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a Double Entendre..
So he gave her one

[clear out]

We sent the girls to a local bottle shop for some of that Italian wine called Legopener.
It was in the 70s and now we’re all in our 70s they are still talking to us.
H.

[woodhutt]

We sent the girls to a local bottle shop for some of that Italian wine called Legopener.
It was in the 70s and now we’re all in our 70s they are still talking to us.
H.

I Like it. Reminds me of that great show Open All Hours when Nurse Gladys is reminiscing about an evening in with Arkwright drinking (I think) South African sherry.
She said she'd never come across anything like it for making your buttons come undone.
Pete

[Boringgeoff]

In the 60's I knew a bloke who made home brew wine. One was called Hen Wine, because "you laid where you drank it" and another was named Block and Tackle. Drink enough of it and you'd "go off your block and tackle anyone".

[woodhutt]

A bloke drinking in a bar keeps taking a photo out of his pocket and looking at it after every beer.
Eventually the barman can't resist it and asks him what he's doing.
"It's a photo of the wife," says the bloke. "As soon as she starts looking good, I'll go home."
Pete

[KBs PensNmore]

Two blokes walk into a Bar,
You'd have thought one of them would have seen it!!!!!!

[A Duke]

Hi,

He "What is your opinion on sex before marriage?"
She "That,s my business.".
He "Ah ha, a professional."

Regards